Elitist Book Reviews

There was a canyon where I lived in Utah with a species of flowers that grew on both sides of the canyon, and over time the ones on the south vs. the north sides diverged in their taxonomy. This happened over a matter of decades, the main culprit being how much light they got. PANDEMONIUM by Warren Fehy takes that concept to the depths of the Earth: completely separated from the surface and its influence for millions of years, how would subterranean species evolve?

In terrifying ways, apparently.

Biologists Nell and Geoffrey are specialists in new and dangerous species--having recently survived an encounter on the lost and isolated Hender's Island. Their expertise catches the attention of a Russian tycoon who has purchased a Soviet-era underground city and wants to turn it into a paradise, so he gives them an offer they can't refuse. He neglects to tell them, however, the real reason why they're there: species from Hender's island have escaped and he needs Nell and Geoffrey to tell him how to stop them.

Fehy includes photos at the back of the book for the creatures from Pandemonium and Hender's Island, which are based on mollusk physiology, and behave aggressively--survival of the species is their mantra. If they escape the underground city, it would only be a matter of months, maybe years, before they wipe out the human population.

It's pretty easy after knowing the above what's going to happen with the story. Nell and Geoffrey prove their moxie, the tycoon gets his comeuppance, military personnel are brought in and have a limited time frame to save the survivors before the place is nuked in order to save humanity. Yadda yadda.

The predictable story is framed with lame dialogue, an omniscient PoV that's all over the place even within a scene, and stock characters without clear motivations. Fortunately the pace moved quickly--enough to keep me going, at any rate--and the descriptions of the deadly species are interesting enough.

It was exciting but also forgettable at the same time.


Recommended Age: 15+
Language: A handful of instances
Violence: It's a horror story along the lines of Jurassic Park, so yes there's blood and death, sometimes grisly
Sex: Vaguely implied

Find this book here:

PANDEMONIUM

Every so often I run through the list of books I've recently read and try to find follow-ups to those I liked. The sequel to Edward Lazellari's debut novel AWAKENINGS (EBR review) was one that pestered me for what seemed a very long time. I kept looking for something but never saw any news about a sequel. And then Steve plopped it in my lap, and I was absolutely floored when I realized that it has been less than a year since the debut. In all fairness, having a newbie author get a 500+ page fantasy novel out within a year is actually, in my opinion, quite decent. I guess some part of me was just really looking forward to this one.

THE LOST PRINCE is the second book in the Guardians of Aandor series, which is, not surprisingly, going to be a trilogy. This book picks up almost immediately after the end of AWAKENINGS. One of my complaints about that first book was the fact that the story just seemed to stop, and this quick pick-up kind of reiterates that. Looking at things from this side the first two books should probably just be tackled as a single 800-page novel. But seriously, what kind of publisher would have picked up a 800-page debut? Answer: none. Score one for Lazellari.

The plot for the book is surprisingly simple: find the prince. There are the good guys that want to return him to Aandor; there are bad guys who want to inflict death upon him; and there are the nebulous types who are in it for their own reasons. Prince Danel is the prize. But how can a book that is so simple be so great? Well, as they say: the devil is in the details.

All of the previous characters from AWAKENINGS are back plus a few new ones. Cal MacDonnel, the married New York cop who now knows he's from a noble house, engaged to another woman, and captain of the guard in the fantasy realm of Aandor. Seth Raincrest, the porn photographer who is actually a wizard in hiding is having trouble casting any spells. Daniel Hauer, the 13-year-old accidental murderer of his step-father and heir to the throne of Aandor. Honestly, I could go on for a while with all the characters in this book. Suffice it to say that there are a bundle and they were actually all done quite well. Characterization is one the of the many shining aspects of this book. All sorts of them get point-of-view time: good guys, bad guys, traitors, neutral parties. Each of them were great.

Although, the sheer number of characters frequently got in the way of me being able to follow all of them and keep them distinct from one another, especially with regard to the “bad guys”. This also made the beginning feel like it was moving really slow. It took a good 20% of the book before I felt like the story was progressing. This was due to a bundle of new POV characters and catching up all of the current characters to where we were in the story. The middle half was a great ramp-up though, and by the time the last third to fourth of the book hit, things were really moving.

The end of the book was crazy good. I remember stopping once and finding myself standing in line at the grocery store with my jaw hanging open and realizing that the line had moved a good long ways since I had last noticed. But even with all of the really cool action and back-and-forth between the various parties as they try to find the prince and finally end up converging on him (REALLY good stuff there), the place where Lazellari completely outdid himself was in staying true to each of the stories of the individual characters. It's the individual characters that drive this story.  Seth's redemption story was especially good for me.  Just solid.

There is one factor that I have to point out that might be a big sticking point for a lot of people and that's the sexual content. The issue is that it involves the prince, who is as you may or may not remember is supposed to be 13 years old. As with all of the other character stories in the book, the time spent with these interactions is significant and detailed. And yeah, it bothered me. The glorification of the deeds was especially evident and overdone. I have no idea why this needed to be in the book. There isn't a lot of extraneous stuff at all in the story, and I can't help but expect that the prince's escapades will come back to bite him at a later date (and thus make these sexual interactions important to the plot of future books), but it all really stuck out like a sore thumb and in my opinion was significantly more than necessary or wanted.

It seems ludicrous to me that Lazellari is writing books that are this good this early in his career. And apparently he's still got a full-time job external to writing to boot. Will be exciting to see where he goes with things once the harness comes off and he can really spend his time writing. Watch this guy. I expect big things to come.

Recommended Age: Adults
Violence:  Not a lot of bloody violence, but most of it is with swords (fantasy world, remember?) so it can get graphic at times
Profanity:  Strong but fairly infrequent
Sex:  Frequent references by one character (porn photographer) and a couple strong scenes involving the 13-year old prince.

Find this amazing debut series here:

AWAKENINGS

THE LOST PRINCE

I'm the mother of two boys: 10 and 9 years old. One is an avid reader and one isn't, but I read as part of their bedtime ritual and search far and wide to find books all of us will enjoy.

Enter Tom Angleberger's Origami Yoda series. The man is a genius: middle grade kids, a mystery, Star Wars, and origami? There's something in there for everyone. Oh, and they're hysterical.

In book four of the Origami Yoda series, THE SURPRISE ATTACK OF JABBA THE PUPPET, Tommy, Mike, Dwight and the gang are back, and this time even Harvey is on their side: they are in open rebellion against Principal Rabbski's new FunTime™ learning program designed to boost the school's test scores. With electives cancelled in favor of dumbed-down videos, the kids think the only thing FunTime boosts is their boredom. They seek out Origami Yoda's insight to solve the problem. His answer? This is more than even Origami Yoda can handle and announces that the only way to get school back to normal is if everyone pitches in.

Principal Rabbski is as cunning as Boba Fett, sly as Han Solo, and ruthless as Darth Vader, and is determined to make the kids of McQuarrie Middle School behave...or else. Origami Yoda has been right before, but will he be right about takes-no-prisoners Principal Rabbski?

Since it's book four we've spent the last three books getting to know Tommy, Mike, Dwight and the others pretty well. Angleberger does a good job differentiating them, and they feel like real kids dealing with real-life problems in creative ways. My boys' particular favorite is the eccentric Dwight, who at first seems to be the mastermind behind all the chaos, but the rational serenity of his finger puppet Yoda makes you wonder...

In previous books the mystery surrounded the validity of Origami Yoda's powers of prognostication. But since that's been firmly established, now the kids have an even bigger problem to solve, and simply being kids limits them, their schooling being decided by adults. I wonder a little about Angleberer's topic (government mandated testing and the resultant curriculum), and being a parent myself of middle school kids understand the frustration of the kids and how teachers' hands are tied. He skirts sounding agenda-driven just barely by the way he uses FunTime and the over-the-top way the kids react to its obviously ridiculous design. But I love the way the kids work together in a way to solve their problems and how using the origami puppets make the kids think in new ways.

The actual design of the book is great, with each chapter a different viewpoint--this really helps us get to know the kids and the way they think. The doodles in the margins are hilarious (my boys love pointing them out), and Tommy and Harvey's comments at the end of each chapter help with continuity. And you can't help but appreciate Harvey's snark. The best thing, though? The instructions for origami Star Wars puppets at the end of each book. Currently I have an army of origami Ewoks all over my house.

The only bad thing is that this book is to be continued! The previous books were self-contained stories so I was a little disappointed to get to the end only to have to wait for the next installment and I hope the solution. For now I will have to be satisfied with Jabba's surprise attack at the end. Yes, I squealed.

Recommended Age: 8+ and yes even their parents will enjoy this fabulous series
Language: None
Violence: None
Sex: None

Find these books (buy them!) here:

THE STRANGE CASE OF ORIGAMI YODA

DARTH PAPER STRIKES BACK

THE SECRET OF THE FORTUNE WOOKIE

THE SURPRISE ATTACK OF JABBA THE PUPPET

I'm not usually a proponent of breaking the rules, but very occasionally allow myself an indulgence. When I first picked this book up, I knew I was asking for trouble. My wife actually accused me of choosing it because I wanted something to pick to pieces, and that might have been slightly true. But only a little. It's more likely that I chose it because occasionally I'm just a glutton for punishment.

THE NIGHT CIRCUS is Erin Morgenstern's debut novel, and I actually felt kind of bad for a bit when I found that out after structuring this entire review. I really don't like knocking down newbies. Even ones that are getting a ludicrous number of places--including People and USA Today--to lavish her with laud, and praise, and honor.

The “story”, such as it is, surrounds a very particular kind of circus that is only open during nighttime hours and contains all sorts of fantastical tents and acts. Within this backdrop, two very old men with a high level of magical prowess each train a student to participate in a game of skill where there will only be one winner. This is complicated though, when the two students fall in love. However...

Describing this book with that summary (one that is very similar in content to the one used to promote the book) is almost as large a travesty as me deciding to list the book as being within the fantasy genre. Because although the concept of the game is probably the most prevalent of the few ideas in the book, very little time at all is actually spent on it.

Instead, the chapters revolve around two things: giving background information on the multitude of characters and waxing verbose through descriptive surroundings (including all of the circus tents). The students don't even know who each other are. Neither of them knows the rules. They just do their thing with regard to the circus and hope that they come out well for them. Finding any kind of actual plot line was incredibly difficult. I really had to laugh though, when I read one part of the Q&A on the NIGHT CIRCUS Amazon page:

Q. What was the most challenging aspect of developing this story?
A. It didn't have a plot for a very long time. (Read more...)

Yes, there's more to that quote (and feel free to follow the link and read the rest. It's about a third of the way down the page), but this portion not only contains the crux of the entire response, it succinctly wraps up my thoughts on the story as a whole: there was no plot. It was simply an idea. An idea that was avoided and disregarded and talked around. There was no point to the novel. No excitement. No anticipation. Instead, it was a very pretty, empty shell of a book that absolutely stymies the logical portions of my brain that say, “Honestly. How can anyone find this stuff good?”

Readers who like to read pages and pages of descriptions and character history (but mostly descriptions), dig in. You'll love this one. Those that like actual story, like us, will find this book a great waste of their time.

Recommended Age: 15+
Violence:  Someone dies after being stabbed
Profanity:  One F-word, just like the obligatory single offering in nearly every PG-13 movie of the 90's -- otherwise, I can't remember any at all
Sex:  One short scene with moderate detail

The Night Circus

When you first novel is THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA, you've made things very difficult on yourself. Scott Lynch's first novel was incredible. So incredible that it set the expectations for RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES incredibly high. I remember reading RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES and feeling a bit disappointed. Why? Because it wasn't the best novel ever, of course. How could I expect anything less after reading the first novel? It wasn't fair, and now that I've finished a re-read, I have a much better point of view on the novel than I did originally.

Let's face it, shall we? While RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES isn't as good as THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA, I feel that it is still an amazing novel and better than 99% of the stuff out there in the Fantasy genre. It's just that RED doesn't blow LIES out of the water that has people feeling the disappointment.

Now I know what you're thinking. "But, Steve," you muse. "RED does have problems, right? You aren't just ignoring them because you love LIES so much, are you?" Indeed, RED does have some issues, and no, I'm not ignoring them.

RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES begins just after THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA leaves off. Locke is in a bad way physically, mentally and emotionally. Jean is dealing with Locke's inability to cope with the guilt he (Locke) feels after the events in Camorr. This portion of the story is told in flashbacks while we read the "current" part of the story of Locke and Jean trying to pull a heist on a gambling establishment called the Sinspire in Tal Verrar. While LIES was more of a novel about confidence schemes, RED is more Ocean's Eleven...at least in the beginning.

And this is perhaps the biggest issue people--including myself--have with RED.

The book starts out promising a heist novel and then switches gears 1/3 of the way into the novel...into a pirate novel. This does two things. First, it gives the novel an impression that it didn't quite know what it wanted to be. Second, when the pirate parts start, the pacing of the novel is restarted completely from scratch. It isn't a permanent reboot within the novel as we revisit the heist here and there, but any time the novel shifts from pirates to casinos, the pacing restarts. Honestly, it feels like the heist story was what the novel was intended to be, then Lynch realized there wasn't enough meat here for a full-blown story.

That said, it's not like either of the portions of the story are bad. Not in the least. I loved the heist story. I loved the pirate story. It was the odd juxtaposition of the two that threw me off initially when I first read the novel several years ago. Upon a second read, this didn't bother me near as much, and I could just enjoy the novel. And I have to say, the sea battles in RED are thrilling. As usual, Lynch's action scenes are chaotic and well described. It still amazes me how people don't talk about Lynch's ability to write action.

What Lynch still excels at in RED is his sense of the characters. While Locke and Jean have just a shaaade too much false conflict, I love their interaction. I love the banter they have between themselves and with the other, side characters. Speaking of side characters, I love both Zamira Drakasha and Ezri Delmastro. Lynch writes them so well. I love the little quirks, and the major character defining elements to each of them. They mesh so well with Locke and Jean, and so it makes the ending of the novel that much more powerful.

On my second read-through I read RED as if it were a tragedy, and for some reason that made me enjoy the novel quite a bit more. There were some points that still made me tear up even though I knew they were coming. That's good writing. Good characterization.

Scott Lynch is such an amazing writer. There are moments where he easily approaches a literary lean, but then others where it's almost pulp. Horror in some places, with good comedy in others. Happiness mixes with tragedy. It is in these contrasts that Lynch sets himself apart from his peers.

RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES isn't as good as THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA, but how many novels are? Seriously, think about that for a minute. RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES is still a fantastic novel, and it holds up exceptionally well upon multiple reads.

My re-read of the series has concluded and I'm convinced that this is a must read for every fan of Fantasy. If you haven't read Lynch's work thus far, now is the perfect time to start. THE REPUBLIC OF THIEVES is set to come out next week (10-10-13).

Recommended Age: 17+
Profanity: Tons. Just like the first novel.
Violence: Definitely. Throats are cut, dudes are stabbed, fires consume people.
Sex: It's talked about, but never shown in detail.

Get the novels here:

THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA
RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES
THE REPUBLIC OF THIEVES

I love Horror novels. I absolutely love them. I love when an author can terrify me with things that prey on the most basic fears we feel as humans. A great story teller can spin a tale in which I'm scared to look at the next page, and yet I'm equally thrilled to do just that. I also love the unexplained, and it is in short fiction that the unexplained aspect of Horror really shines. If you want great Horror short fiction, the place to look right now, in my opinion, is either with Subterranean Press or with Tachyon Publications. For this review, I want to draw the attention of every reader to IMPOSSIBLE MONSTERS, which is edited by Kasey Lansdale.

I bought IMPOSSIBLE MONSTERS knowing nothing about it other than it was a Horror anthology published through Subterranean Press, and that there were stories in the collection by Joe Lansdale and Neil Gaiman. What else is needed? I really knew nothing about the editor, Kasey Lansdale, other than who she was related to. It didn't really matter. I just wanted good stories, and I figured I would learn a bit about Kasey's skill as an editor by reading the stories.

Let's just say I'm more than impressed.

IMPOSSIBLE MONSTERS is an anthology about--wait for it--monsters! Impossible ones! Crazy ones! Different ones! Like every anthology, has its ups and downs. In every case these are due to personal taste. The variety of stories in the collection is so wide that there is something here for literally everyone who reads Horror. It isn't very often that I read an anthology and feel proud after finishing. I'm truly blown away by the quality of authors Kasey Lansdale was able to get, and even more proud of how well the stories are paced, how solid their quality is, and by how many different emotions are induced by reading this collection. In a collection like this, a reader isn't meant to love every single story. It just isn't going to happen. But it should also be easy to see whether or not other people could potentially love the stories others dislike. I'll keep the spoilers to a minimum, because you just can't have these stories ruined at all.

Let's start with the first story, Blue Amber, by David J. Schow. This was the perfect lead story. It starts with the discovery of a complete piece of skin from a person hanging on a fence. And by that I mean like a person having shed their entire outer layer of skin. The story is creepy, paced perfectly, and has a great, Horror-story ending. Loved it. One of my favorite stories in the collection.

Click-Clack the Rattlebag is an extremely short Neil Gaiman story, and in it Gaiman again shows how awesome he is. That's really all I can say about this one.

Monster, by Anne Perry, was a surprisingly good story. I haven't read much by her in the past, but this had a very distinct British Horror feel to it. The story was a bit predictable, but that didn't stop me from enjoying it at all.

Selina Rosen's, Nathan, was the hardest to read. The unreliable narrator (maybe) is executed effortlessly in this story, but a few sections in the story were truly horrific in an uncomfortable way. This could have been a terrible story, and yet I liked it in large part due to quality of writing. It was pulled off extremely well. Keep in mind though...geez...it was a bit much in places.

The Case of the Angry Traveler, by Joe Lansdale, is exactly what I've come to expect from him. Witty, with an odd blend of literary charm mixed with pulpish action and horror. I love Lansdale's stuff so much. For those of you that read a lot of Lansdale, this is a Dana Roberts story, so you know what to expect...kinda. This one kept me guessing. It was also my second favorite story of the collection.

Yeah.

The best story? For me it was Al Sarrantonio's Orange Lake. A Horror story within a Horror story, and it made me embarrassed that I'd never read anything by him before. I vow to remedy this. This wasn't just the best story fo the collection for me, it was one of the best pieces of Horror short-fiction that I've ever read. Sarrantonio manages to squeeze in so much character into his main PoV, that I hardly realized this was already an established character from a series he wrote. Orange Lake is a story I'd love to see win a Stoker Award.

The rest? Well, Blood Moccasins by Bradley Denton was so bizarre and different, yet I really enjoyed it. Charlaine Harris provides a story that her fans will like, but it didn't work for me (rough transitions that could have used scene breaks). Detritus, by Chet Williamson had a lot of winks and nudges to Joe Lansdale, and it was a fun read.

No matter who you are, if you like Horror, this is a collection for you. After reading most of the stories, I had an opportunity to talk with Kasey Lansdale at WorldCon, and I was so impressed by how friendly she was, and by how genuinely she just wanted people to read and enjoy these stories. She put a lot of work into them, and it shows. IMPOSSIBLE MONSTERS is a fantastic collection of Horror stories that every reader of Horror should read, and every author who aspires to write Horror should study.

The best compliment I can give? Because of how awesome IMPOSSIBLE MONSTERS is, I'll read any anthology she edits in the future without a moment of hesitation.

Recommended Age: 17+
Profanity: Yup. Pretty strong and frequent depending on the author.
Violence: All sorts. It varies based on the monster, but it can get pretty wild and graphic. Nathan has the most disturbing violence.
Sex: Nathan has some really messed up stuff in it. Bloaters has a bit too.

Want to buy the anthology? Good. You should. Right-freaking-now. Here's your link:


IMPOSSIBLE MONSTERS

I know, I know. The book is old. You already know I love it. But here's the thing, THE REPUBLIC OF THIEVES is finally about to be released. Before I jumped into Scott Lynch's newest, I needed to go back and revisit both THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA and RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES. So I'm taking the opportunity to share my thoughts with all of you discerning readers. This of this as a re-read review.

I'll be blunt up front and share what you should already know. THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA was one of my favorite books ever when I read it for the first time five years ago. I accidentally ended up with a review copy of it when I worked for Waldenbooks. The novel sat on my shelf for about a year, untouched. It had a cover that made me think it was some sort of weird, literary fantasy romance novel. I actually began reading it by accident. I blindly pulled the novel off the shelf, thinking I'd grabbed the latest R. Scott Bakker novel, and flipped to the first page. It was fairly obvious from the opening paragraph that I'd grabbed the wrong novel. But I kept reading. And reading.

And reading.

I loved it. Ever freaking word of every line. By this point I had already left the book store since it was a toxic environment perpetuated by the idiotic members of Borders' executive management (sorry, mini rant over). I had very few outlets to express my love for the novel. We've been very vocal here at Elitist Book Reviews about our love for the novel, but perhaps you want to know why? Perhaps you even want to know if THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA holds up after a subsequent read (or a third in my case).

First things first. THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA, to me, is even better now than when I first read it. I appreciate it more. The ensemble cast of Locke Jean and the rest demand a reader's attention. This isn't a book you can just skim through like many novels in the Fantasy genre. Everything adds character, whether to the main characters, the villains, or the city of Camorr.

The novel follows Locke Lamora and his small gang as they execute a confidence game--or a long con if you prefer--on one of the rich and powerful couples in the city of Camorr. As you'd imagine, things go sideways, and a bigger threat to the city itself emerges. Locke and his crew are forced into the upheaval.

What I like so much about the way Lynch tells the story is that we jump back-and-forth in time as we glean bits from Locke's and Jean's past and how those moments relate to the current situation in the city. The timing of these flashbacks with either elevate the tension of the current timeline, give the reader a hint at how Locke and the gang will resolve an issue, or serve to maximize comedic impact. Make no mistake, THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA is profane and violent, but it also hysterical when the situation calls for it. This balancing act of emotions is by far one of the most impressive things Scott Lynch is able to pull off in the novel.

The city of Camorr, and its denizens, is a character unto itself. I love the way Lynch paints the contrasts of the city. The good, the decadent, the bad, and the atrocious. These opposites and all the blendings in between are shown in terms of lifestyle, food, clothing, neighborhoods, language...everywhere. It makes the city feel alive in a way that few authors manage.

I think what gets lost in people's musings on THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA--and on Scott Lynch in general--is how well he does action. I wouldn't consider him the best in the business, but Lynch crafts his action extremely well. I'm never confused as to who is present in the scene, and to how things are happening. Additionally, I particularly like how Locke isn't exactly good at fighting. Not even close really. It adds humanity to a character who has other talents.

In all, this is the type of book that any author should strive to write. And it Lynch's first. This was my third time reading THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA, and it was even more entertaining this time as the first time I turned its pages. If you get a chance, listen to the book on audio. It is narrated by Michael Page, and it's completely amazing.

I'll review RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES next week to conclude my re-read. Then I'll be delving into my review copy of THE REPUBLIC OF THIEVES.

Look. If you aren't reading this series, you're doing it wrong. There isn't anything else out there truly like it. THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA remains one of my favorite novels of all-time. I can't possibly recommend it more highly.

Recommended Age: 17+
Profanity: All sorts. It never feels out of place though. This will likely turn off quite a few readers. This is just a heads up.
Violence: Quite a bit. Lots of throat cutting. This is a really bloody book.
Sex: Nope. It's mentioned and talked about, but never shown.

Here are your links to pick up the book, and the rest of the series:

THE LIES OF LOCKE LAMORA
RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES
THE REPUBLIC OF THIEVES

Bryn is addicted to a drug that keeps her alive. Being tested for military purposes, Returné contains nanites that keep a body from decomposing even after it's been killed. Bryn is, in essence, a drug-induced zombie. Now, in TERMINATED Bryn will do anything to stop the Fountain Group from seeing its nefarious goals come to fruition: eliminating the addicted test subjects and selling the upgraded drug to the highest bidders.

There are good and bad things about being indestructible. For one, when you're being hunted down by assassins (lead by the also upgraded Jane, Bryn's boyfriend Patrick's ex-wife) you have a better chance of survival, even if you get blown up or shot you still come back in as good of shape as before. The bad thing is that being blown up or shot is traumatic in itself and when you return you remember every detail in all its excruciating pain. That changes a person and even though Bryn tries not to change, she sees parts of herself in the monstrous Jane.

Fortunately Bryn has Patrick, and her friends Joe, Riley, Pansy, and her sister Annie. Together they may be just enough to stop the Fountain Group. The pitfall of only having read this book and not the previous ones is that while these characters were interesting, I didn't get the depth necessary to feel connected to them. The only person I really got to know was Bryn, the PoV character. She feels the urgency to survive and stop the Fountain Group, but it means doing what's needed to anyone who gets in her way, and sometimes it's violent and innocent people get hurt. Caine does a good job portraying Bryn's struggle with what needs to be done and trying to keep from becoming Jane.

The story moves very quickly. Bryn and her friends have to cover a lot of ground in order to find the key players of the Fountain Group. They trek across the country, cover thousands of miles, dodge assassins, hide out from missile-carrying drones...it all gets pretty exhausting, there isn't much downtime. I think perhaps that while the breakneck pace is a reality of the situation, it also hides a bigger problem: key plot events are contrived. It felt like a typical 'running from the bad guys' thriller without seeing the bad guys face to face or what they're really capable of, with the necessary back story thrown in to explain away twists in the plot. It was frustrating.

Still, Caine's prose is clean and straightforward and she provides an exciting and satisfying resolution. The series might be fun on a weekend when you need some mindless popcorn entertainment.

Recommended Age: 17+
Language: A few dozen instances scattered throughout
Violence: Lots of fighting, death, and blood
Sex: One scene with detail, rape referenced

Find this series here:

WORKING STIFF

TWO WEEKS' NOTICE

TERMINATED

An anthology of vampires and other dark creatures that go bump in the night, BLOOD AND OTHER CRAVINGS attempts to explore the unexplained. While the concept is interesting, the selected stories are a mish-mash of clever, creepy, predictable, and just plain weird.
 
The majority of them were so-so for me, mostly because they were confusing and unexplainable--the style not unlike the stories you heard around a late-night campfire as a kid. If you like dark fantasy for the sake of the mysterious and creepy atmosphere, you'll probably like BLOOD AND OTHER CRAVINGS for the ambiance alone. But for me, I guess I like my stories a little more tidy and explainable, less vagueness. Maybe I'm too demanding (yes I was the spoil-sport who rolled my eyes at the campfire stories).

A few of the stories did stand out, however:

"Needles" by Elizabeth Bear - A vampire and a lamashtu walk into a tattoo parlor...that kind of makes it sound like the start of a really lame joke, but in reality they are two immortals who help each other to fulfill their nefarious needs. Great dialogue and fluid movement, with an engaging story and the display of folklore in action that turns deliciously twisty. If you pick up this book and read one story while standing in the bookstore, this one is worth your time.
 
"Mulberry Boys" by Margo Lanagan - George is chosen from the village boys to help Phillips (the man from the towns) who gathers the silk for trading. When George learns the true horrors of Phillips' work, he takes matters into his own hands. All at the same time horrific, sad, and satisfying, Lanagan mixes up sociological with an everyday concept.
 
"Sweet Sorrow" by Barbara Roden - Brian's friend from school, Melissa, disappears one day never to be seen again, leaving an unfilled hole in his heart. Until one day Brian begins to see a pattern in the disappearances of other little girls. Straightforward and predictable, but still effectively written.
 
"Toujours" by Kathe Koja - From the PoV of a man who watches his protégé make a terrible mistake but is powerless to stop it. A little garbled at first, Koja makes up for it with the manipulating evilness of the antagonist.
 
Other notables:
 
If you like mental illness stories then check out the interesting "Keeping Corkey" by Melanie Tem and "X for Demetrious" by Steve Duffy.
 
If you like vague creepiness then read "All You Can Do Is Breathe" by Kaaron Warren, "Blood Yesterday, Blood Tomorrow" by Richard Bowes, "Shelf-Life" by Lisa Tuttle, and "Miri" by Steve Rasnic Tem.
 
Recommended Age: 16+ for general creepiness but watch out for the sex scenes (noted below)
Language: Maybe ten instances in the whole book
Violence: Some, including deaths, but nothing particularly gory other than references to blood
Sex: Referenced in some of them; "Mrs. Jones" wins the award for the weirdest sex I've ever read with "The Third Always Beside You" being the second weirdest

Find this anthology here:

BLOOD AND OTHER CRAVINGS

So. The Hugo Awards. Maybe you've heard of them. They come in a mixed bag of good and bad, full of second guessing and "should-haves". Here at Elitist Book Reviews, we were nominated for the 2013 Hugo Award for Best Fanzine. It was a big deal. I didn't expect us to win, so it came as no surprise when SF Signal was awarded the Hugo.

By nature I'm a rather competitive guy. Those of you that know me are very much aware of this. It's what's made me successful in my day-job as an accountant for a Department of Defense contractor. So to be nominated for a big-time award? Heaven have mercy. I knew we weren't going to win, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to win. I wanted to win because I just like winning, but also because it would serve as a recognition of sorts to you readers and to my reviewers who do such an amazing job here at EBR.

But we didn't win.

A few things happened at the ceremony. First, I was really nervous. I blame Lou Anders. We were hanging out before the ceremony and Lou suddenly says, "Well dang. I'm nervous now." This naturally made me feel the same way. Nervousness in contagious, and for me, Lou was Patient Zero. I couldn't eat. I couldn't drink. And I knew I didn't have a chance at the award. Yikes.

I sat by Stina Leicht and Max Gladstone and their spouses at the Hugo Awards ceremony (they were both up for the Campbell Award this year). Awesome people. Completely awesome. They wished me well before the ceremony, and knew just what to say after losing. When SF Signal won, a few things happened:

1) I was incredibly relieved.
2) I was sooooooo thirsty.
3) I was starving.

I know, I know. Deep, deep thoughts there.

I admit, even though I knew I wasn't going to win, I still had that hollow feeling of disappointment. For myself, for my reviewers, for our readers, and for those that voted for us to win. I had this odd sensation that I'd somehow let everyone down. And then they announced that Writing Excuses had won the Hugo for Best Related Work. I got to see some of my good friends receive the Hugo Award. Shortly thereafter Brandon Sanderson won for THE EMPEROR'S SOUL. Wow. Just wow.

I was positively thrilled for them all.

And suddenly I didn't really care that EBR had lost.

After the ceremony I turned into a serial hugger, not unlike Chris Garcia over at The Drink Tank. I may be competitive, but I also love to see my deserving friends succeed. I had a long chat with the fellas at SF Signal (who are incredible people), and as excited I was to see them win, they were equally excited for EBR's nomination. There's room for everyone in the category we occupy at the Hugo Awards. As I told John DeNardo at SF Signal, as long as I'm getting people to read books, I'm a happy camper. And as he said in his acceptance speech, it doesn't matter the format - pixel or paper - we need to be accepting of the good stuff in SF&F in all its forms.

During WorldCon and since, I was and have been flooded with well-wishes. You know who you are. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. There were a ton of people at WorldCon who had no clue who the heck I was, or what Elitist Book Review was. Hopefully I left people with a good impression. I met some of the most awesome people ever (looking at you, Max, Stephanie, Stina, Tacheyon, Wes, Genese, Eric, Justin, Kasey etc, etc, etc...).

We didn't win the Hugo Award this year. That's OK.

Because it would be AMAZING to win next year in London. So, to all of EBR's UK readers, you know what to do (and if you don't, shoot me an email...seriously). If EBR is nominated, I'll be going.

See you in London.

It's been a long time since I've read a book in three days.  (You have to understand that I work two jobs and have four kids, one of which is a two month old, so reading a book in three days is kind of like reading it in one sitting for me.)  From the prologue STEELHEART, by Brandon Sanderson, hooked me in and never let me go.  This is the type of book that begged me to slip away from family and read for just a few minutes more; to let the dishes sit in the sink for just a bit longer so I could read another chapter; to stay up late, no matter that I had work early the next day. I just had to know what was coming next.

STEELHEART is set on Earth after an event called the Calamity has appeared in the sky and started turning some people into superheroes.  I say super heroes because of their powers, but in reality every one of them (they're called Epics in the book) has in fact turned into a super villain instead. Steelheart is one of them, and one of the most powerful.  David was present when Steelheart claimed the city of Chicago as his own fiefdom and took over.  That was the day that Steelheart killed David's father. That was the only time that Steelheart had ever been hurt in a fight and David is the only witness to it.  The tagline for the book is (as far as I can tell) "I've seen Steelheart bleed, and I'll see it again."

The setting is really fantastic. By setting the book in a present day earth Sanderson can really get down to what it is these Epics do and how they work.  He can highlight the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) changes in society as a result of these super beings.  I love the idea of a being as powerful as Steelheart claiming the city as his own.  No one can harm him so how can anyone stop him.

It's also fun to get this view of the world through David, a regular human in a strange world.  The book is written in first person so we get a very personal view of that world and David's thoughts.  A running theme throughout the book is David's inability to make a good metaphor.  He's about as bad at it as a cat with chopsticks trying to play dominoes (see what I did there?).  I wish I had written a few of them down for example here, but you get the point.  Reading the book is just alot of fun.

The thing that had me turning the pages though was the pacing.  This book moves along smoothly from one scene to the next.  There's plenty of action, but then even the interpersonal scenes are gripping.  As David helps plan to take Steelheart down you just race through the words wanting to see what happens next.  Also, I'm kind of a sucker for a cliffhanger at the end of chapters.  I love it. When you get to the end of a chapter and the last line is "And then I turned around and her sword was at my throat," you just HAVE to flip the next page and see what happened next. (That's just an example by the way that I made up.  As far as I can remember, which is pretty well, there are no swords at people's throats at the end of chapters.) Some may dislike method for keeping the reader reading, but I'm not one of them.

Guys, STEELHEART is a good book.  This is a book that my wife and I were fighting over to read (I won, by the way).  If you're a fan of Sanderson's work, go buy it.  If you're a fan of super heroes, go buy it.  If you're a fan of good books that you don't want to put down and keep you up late in the night turning pages to finish reading and then you're sad when it's over because you have to wait for the next book in the series and that's going to take so long and I don't think I can wait that long, then go buy it.  If you're a fan of slow boring books with no characterization and little plot, then I'd advise against it.

Age Recommendation: As soon as they can
Language: I think two words in the whole book and not major ones at that.
Violence: A few action scenes, nothing too gory, but it is there.
Sex: None

Want to buy the novel? Here's your link:

STEELHEART

Jarra lives on Earth. But what sounds normal to us doesn't to those who live in 2788, when man has since left Earth for other worlds, thanks to the invention of portals. Unfortunately, not every human's immune system can handle what the universe has to offer. One in every thousand born can't survive on other planets and must return to Earth within hours of birth or they die. Jarra's parents sent her to Earth right after she was born and haven't been a part of her life since.

The year Jarra turns 18, she decides to do something risky: apply for a non-Earth university's archeology program. The first year requires time spent on Earth for practical history studies, during which Jarra plants to fool the class into thinking she's normal--it's hard to not be resentful when the rest of humanity thinks you're a Handicapped 'ape.'  In the process she unexpectedly learns that norms aren't so bad after all...and that she could even come to love one of them.

Right from the start of EARTH GIRL, you're struck by Jarra's first person PoV voice--smart, young, and maybe a little crazy. Most obvious of all is her issue with being stuck on Earth in a day and age when it's considered a freak of genetics. She's tired of it and just crazy enough to pull a stunt in a bid to vent her frustrations.

In the meantime, we watch her interactions between her diverse set of classmates. It's obvious from the start that she loves history and it's no accident she choose this area of study. There are a lot of details about the way the class's archeology digs work--in particular here it's the abandoned New York City--it's not uninteresting and shows a lot about Jarra and her classmates. It can get infodump-y at times because there's a lot Edwards wants to tell you about this bright future for humanity, but she does her best to be concise and interesting.

Jarra felt believable as an 18-year-old young woman trying to find her way and struggling to understand her own identity. She can be a know-it-all (maybe a little too smart), silly, a show off, shy--and she even withdraws into a make-believe reality (this part is a little contrived). Her relationship with potential love interest Fian is sweet and even a tad complicated (the best kind). The other characters are a little shallow, but recognizable.

The plot is very straightforward, if sometimes bumpy as Jarra causes trouble that has to be worked around. The end felt a little rushed, but was still satisfying. Despite its problems, EARTH GIRL's themes of prejudice is handled with finesse, making it accessible to a YA audience.

Recommended age: 15+ for sexual innuendo
Language: None
Violence: Non-human caused peril
Sex: Referred to mostly as innuendo; implied

If you're tired of dystopia, this would be a fun diversion. Find it here:

EARTH GIRL