Elitist Book Reviews

If you have been following our not-so-humble blog, you know we like George Mann. So when we got our paws on his GHOSTS IN MANHATTAN, published by Pyr, we knew we were in for a treat.

GHOSTS is set in America during the roaring 20's, but with a Steampunk bent, and as if that isn't cool enough, George Mann inserts enough Urban Fantasy elements to create a sweet mesh of the two genres. Actually, the genre almost does a complete swap in the last third of the book. It was a little jarring, but the pace of the book swept us along, without giving us time to let the change bother us.

Let us say, right up front, this book won't be for everyone. The violence is just brutal. The opening scene was quite violent even for us, and we love a good action scene. The titular character uses a flechette cannon and shreds bad guy's heads. There is plenty of swearing and talk about sex. One of our close friends, read the opening chapter and didn't finish it. He heard that Nick liked the book, and said, "Yeah, that sounds about right." Your sensibilities will largely determine whether you like this book. If you have to ask yourself whether you will or not, you will probably be offended.

However...the action scenes were SO awesome. They were very clear, immediate, and visceral. There wasn't an action scene to be found that didn't make us wonder, just for a minute, exactly how the Ghost would be maimed or crippled, and yes, he was injured PLENTY of times. Also, to Mann's credit, there wasn't any indication of "Butcher syndrome" where the protagonists were exhausted, injured, and spent, and somehow managed to reach inside and find some well of energy left. We hate that. When the characters in GHOST were presented with a challenge, they had to actually meet it. No Deus Ex here folks! Woohoo!

Aside from the pacing and strong writing, if we were to pick out a strength of the novel, it would be Mann's ability to make these characters all believable and likable. All except the love interest of the protagonist. She remains largely a mystery, with a fairly shallow characterization until the end. But by then we didn't care quite as much about her as we should have. The rest of them are Ah-Mazing, though. Gabriel is the perfect jaded playboy; the Ghost is menacing, dangerous, yet 'heroic'; Donovan, while having a slightly cliche cop story, was enjoyable the whole time. The villain(s) were just as intriguing. Bravo, Mann!

One of the cool things that was done in the book was the attempt to keep us guessing at the true identity of the Ghost. We both actually wished this aspect had been pressed harder. It was obvious right from the start who he was, but there were constant moments of "Wait...is he really...or is he someone else...?" We could have done with more of those.

As soon as Steve finished the book he called Nick (who luckily got to read the book first). As if the website wasn't proof enough that we are linked at the brain, we both said at just about the same moment, "Could have been 150 pages longer." We really wish this was true. The fast pace works both for and against the book. Ever eaten a meal so fast you barely got to taste it? That's a little bit how the book felt. It was too fast and too short, with extremely likable and interesting characters, that ALL deserved a lot more screen time than they were given. The book didn't just leave us room for dessert, but another course when we were finished. That's a little annoying.

GHOSTS OF MANHATTAN is a bit cliche-ridden, quick, a little on the light side of plot, a bit heavy-handed at times, but is just plain fun. It hurls the Steampunk and Superhero genres at each other with full force, and somewhere in between the two Urban Fantasy/Horror gets caught in the Melee. We like the recipe that was created here. A lot. We want more, and are looking forward to the next installment. Is it the best book you will read this year? Not even close, but it is completely entertaining.

Recommended Age: 18 and up.
Language Ayep. Rated-R here.
Violence: Oh wow, yes. The first chapter is a very good indication of what the rest of the book contains. In said chapter bad guys kept disintegrated by flechettes, burned and boiled by jetpacks, and a lady gets stabbed. It was...an interesting choice to start the book with that much graphic violence.
Sex: A few acts committed and mentioned, nothing graphic or explicitly shown.

P.S. - Also, the cover art, by Benjamin Carre, is soooooo rad. Nick is determined to get a giant print of it to hang in his room.

Dear Jim Butcher: we apologize for doubting you. Seriously.

You all may remember last year when we reviewed TURN COAT. In short, we were pissed. It just wasn't that good. In fact it was one of the books we hated most last year. We had decided to swear off reading Butcher forever. Steve even sold his Dresden Files collection. It was a sad day. Luckily that anger faded, and we decided that we should read Butcher's latest Dresden Files novel, CHANGES.

When we found out the title of this book, Nick said to Steve, "Changes? There damn well better be." Really, the title was the epitome of what we wanted in the series. Progression from characters and story. To be honest, we were preparing to hate this newest novel. How could Butcher possible fix all the problems he had in TURN COAT. Could he reset the effects of the reset caused by the magic reset button from book eleven? Before you think about that too hard, we'll just tell you simply:

CHANGES was awesome.

The plot revolves around Harry discovering (on line one of page one--how's that for immediate conflict?) that he has a daughter, and that she has been abducted by the Red Court Vampires (while it creates cool conflict right off the bat, we couldn't help but feel this 11th hour revelation was pretty hokey). They plan to sacrifice her. In a nutshell, this is Jim Butcher writing MAN ON FIRE. It is dark. It is violent. It is fantastic.

Now, when we say we wanted Butcher to change everything, we didn't really mean everything. Butcher is one of the best at writing humor. His dialogue is known for being snappy, witty, and natural. His action is always described well. These things haven't changed, and in some respects have improved. There is a moment in the middle of the book when Sanya, (a Knight of the Cross for those of you who didn't remember) asks Harry if he "hit that," and if it was "phat." This was when Steve realized Butcher and Harry Dresden were back.

As far as plot progression and pacing, we don't think it could have been done much better. From the first line, to the INSANE ending and last line on the last page, this book threatened to break pacing records. It just didn't let up. Ever. There was two books work of awesomeness in this one 440 page novel.

Now, not everything was perfect. Thomas' progression still bothers us. It still feels like he has regressed as a character, while at the same time making us feel at times that the events from TURN COAT didn't matter so much. Murphy is also still in a state of stagnation--especially because we get a very real glimpse of her potential, which she summarily dismisses to return to the status quo. But everything else?

Geez.

We are exposed to Harry Dresden doing things that we thought (and even he thought) he would never do. CHANGES deals very heavily with the theme, "What is going too far, when is it worth it/called for, and what are the consequences of it?" So far the morality tones in the Dresden Files have been fairly simply, relegated to the Council rules, Harry's use of Soulfire or Hellfire, and other similar ideas, that just weren't that deep. CHANGES...well...changes that.

CHANGES is one of the best Dresden Files novels. It is right up there with books 7-9. If you had been putting off reading the series, you really should start now. If you were waiting for confirmation that Butcher was back in form, after reading our review of his last book, now you have it.

We do, however, still have a gripe that he wants to write 11 or 12 more books in the series. At one a year...the end is a long time coming. The Dresden Files are Butcher's bread and butter and we worry that he is using the series as a cash cow to fill his retirement fund. We could just be cynical though, and after reading CHANGES, we are OK with helping Butcher fill that bank account.

Recommended Age: 16 and up.
Language: It's on par with the rest of the series.
Violence: A little more this time. We used a MAN ON FIRE reference for a reason.
Sex: On par with the rest of the series.


Jim Butcher's website:

http://www.jim-butcher.com/

At this point, even the most rabid zombie fiction fan has to be thinking, "Okay....seriously...I'm getting kind of tired of all the zombie stuff..." We are included in that group. Yes, even Steve. So when we picked up FEED, by Mira Grant, we began reading with trepidation and skepticism. After all, no matter how much you eat a food you love (this is not in reference to the dietary habits of zombies), if it is a course often served, you will get tired of it. This is how we approached FEED. Not very lucky for poor Mira, who could have, easily, been subject to one of our hate reviews.

Lucky for her, and for you, and for us, FEED isn't just a flavor of the month (Or rather, flavor of the year. Seriously. It's time to move on to something else. Give zombies a break. Well...first give Vampires a break, shortly followed by a brief respite for the zombies. Brief, because they ARE undead after all. Is this the longest parenthetical you've ever read? Shall we try for a record? No. You're already going to have to go back to remember what this sentence started as.), it is a pretty unique take on zombie lore.

OK, confession. Unique is a somewhat of a misnomer, because the zombies do adhere to just about every Romero trope. In fact Grant references Romero so much, even two of the main characters are named after George Romero, that we wonder just how many times Grant was watching the Romero's movies while writing this book.

The plot centers around three young blogging news-people, Georgia, Shaun, and Buffy (please note the name-relations to other slayers of the dead). They are, respectively, the hard-line journalist, devil-may-care sensationalist (think Bear Grylls, only with zombies), and the technophile/attention seeker. These bloggers get chosen to be a part of the campaign entourage for a Presidential candidate, Senator Ryman. Things basically devolve into the zombie nom-nom-nom-fest that is necessary. However, while Kellis-Amberlee (the reanimatory virus) and zombies are the basis of the story, they aren't the focus. Which was refreshing. The focus of the book is the campaign for election and the uncovering of a conspiracy.

Not only was the delivery and focus of a zombie story fresh, but the setting was pretty rad. Everyone in the world is infected with KA, but in a 'dormant' state. When certain circumstances are met the virus goes live and zombifies its host. This gives us an interesting way of life where constant blood testing is necessary. Quarantines, hazard levels, safe zones, and danger zones are all commonplace. In fact the blood testing is so common (and a point is made about how they are painful on purpose, because loss of pain sensation is a sign of virus amplification) that we wondered why the main characters fingers and hands weren't hamburger from all the abuse they take.

The characters are all very likable, except for Georgia, who is the 1st person PoV character for the book. Georgia is aloof, and not personable at all. Being inside her head only makes this more noticeable. It distances the reader from her, which is a bummer. There were times when we wondered what it may have been like to have the 1st Person narrative from one of the other characters.

While just about everything is fresh, well-written, and fun, the story falls apart the minute Grant actually gives us a glimpse of what the main character's blogs look like. We can understand Buffy's being bad, it's supposed to be kind of trashy. We can even understand Shaun's entries being somewhat sensationalist. But Georgia, who in her first blog entry we see talks about keeping opinion out of it, is just not believable as the "only the facts ma'am" kind of reporter she touts herself to be. The premise that these three are chosen out of so many to follow a presidential candidate and give the news about it is beyond ridiculous. We had an easier time believing that, should we put the book down, open the drapes to our front yards, and have a look around, there would be real, live (Or is that real dead? Real undead?) zombies out there, than believing these three kids have garnered the kind of attention depicted. Grant makes an issue of how these three bloggers have achieved readership that succeeds porn and pirating sites. With the bland blog entries we are shown, we can't believe that.

Besides. It's common knowledge that when (note: not if) bloggers are chosen after a zombie apocalypse (it WILL happen), the first bloggers chosen will be us.

"Oh quite being such sticklers about belief. You're reading a zombie book." You say? Well it is common knowledge that zombies do exist. What are you talking about, 'belief'? Steve is going to send zombie ninjas after you, if you don't wise up. Anyway...onward...We talk about believing these characters, because we have already suspended belief so much to accept this post-zombie-apocalyptic setting. Though, to Mira Grant's credit, it didn't take THAT much suspension to believe it, her setting was that well crafted.

FEED was a fun, and unique, ride through the flavor of the year. If we could choose a zombie book to recommend as a final foray into the zombie tropes, it would be FEED. We enjoyed it immensely, despite the failed blog entries. We see why Grant wrote and included them, we just didn't like them. It was such a small gripe when compared to just how fun the rest of the book was though, that FEED is firmly entrenched in the Books We Like category.

Thanks Mira!

Recommended Age: 18 and up. Its pretty gruesome at times, and there is adult content. But mainly, the political aspect may bore younger readers.
Language: Yep. All cuss words. It isn't ridiculously prevalent though.
Violence: No more dumb questions... It's a zombie book.
Sex: A few jokes here and there. Nothing actually ever happens though.

The Hype Machine strikes again.

In case you didn't notice, the Hugo Award Finalists were announced just a bit ago. Among the contenders was listed WINDUP GIRL, by Paolo Bacigalupi. There has been all sorts of hype about this novel. People are heralding it as a masterpiece, or as a frightening look into our future. And it's true, on the surface the ideas that make up the setting seem pretty outstanding.

WINDUP GIRL takes place in a future Bangkok in a post-oil era. Genehacking and generipping have helped create some deadly virus mutations that kill people, animals, and plants alike. It is in this future that the most valuable commodities to the masses are calories. Every action in this novel is weighed against its energy cost versus its energy output. One of the main PoVs, Anderson, is undercover in Bangkok to discover new food sources that his company can exploit. Emiko is the Windup Girl, an artificially engineered person whom people (and religion) in general despise. As we mentioned, the setting seems pretty interesting. Unfortunately we need more than setting to enjoy the novel.

WINDUP GIRL begins without a hook. The pacing is extremely slow. It took a good 100 pages for our interest to be pulled in--the novel is only 350 pages long. The most frustrating thing about it? At times we couldn't put our finger on what we didn't like. It wasn't clear. You see, we like to discuss the books we are reading. What we like. What we hate. We soon realized that it was this very issue of clarity that was hurting the novel, and our ability to get sucked into the story.

Bacigalupi spends a lot of time talking about this future he has envisioned. Yet for all the pages dedicated to showing us the setting, none of it is clear. We get that the climate is hot, and the town is dirty. We are told about the animosity that different factions in the city hold for each other. But we don't really FEEL what the city is like. There is a revolution brewing in Bacigalupi's story, but we can't seem to care much about it. It is emotionless.

The characters are much the same. Instead of focusing on how the Emiko (you know, the title character of the story supposedly) is unique, and showing her grow, we are treated to scene after scene of her being used and abused as a sex toy. And really, that is almost the entirety of her "screen time." Anderson doesn't seem to care about anything, and assumes everything will work itself out. If he doesn't care, why should we? Jaidee is flat, and his lauded "never give up" and "fight on" attitude never really fully reaches maturity.

As mentioned before, the pacing is slow. People stand around and reminisce over a past that is never clearly realized for the reader. Yet, contrary to the pacing, the novel is actually a quick read. Maybe this was a result of hoping that something awesome would come in and completely change our view of the story. Bacigalupi writes well, but this particular story isn't told well. There is a difference. We've also read around that people who actually understand the whole science thing (aka not us), will be put off by the science in this SF novel. But we can't lend out opinions to this much. Some of it seemed hinky, but we aren't engineers.

Does this novel deserve the Hugo? We don't think so. Much like BONESHAKER, we feel like WINDUP GIRL had loads of potential, but fell far short of reaching it. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't good either. All that being said, we were a bit reminded of Ian McDonald's RIVER OF GODS and BRASYL, which we had a hard time getting in to. Perhaps we just aren't the right crowd for these types of novels, but if you like one, you may like the other.

Lastly, we don't speak Thai. At all. There quite a few times when even the context of the sentence couldn't help us figure out what the heck people were saying. A simple three-page glossary would have done wonders.


Recommended Age: 18 and up.
Language: Tons. One character's name is the F-word.
Violence: Quite a bit, but it isn't ever very clear.
Sex: Uh, yeah. It is almost always violent, brutal, a shock-oriented. Hence the 18 and up recommendation.

Being the diligent readers that we are, we often browse through the import selection of various websites (imports to the US that is). After all, it is usually only a matter of time before the book get published here. But, every now-and-again, we get a tad impatient (We want books NAO!). This was the case with Chris Wooding's RETRIBUTION FALLS.

It's hard to say what genre RETRIBUTION FALLS, uh, falls under. It is SF, with some magic, and religion, and a retro-futuristic world, airships, pirates, gun-fights, sword-fights, and dog fights. It is truly a mix of everything. Usually, this is a recipe for disaster. Wooding, on the contrary, makes it dang-near perfect.

How about we walk you through just the first few chapters. We start with an escape from a hostage situation, then a gun-battle on some airship docks, and then an airship/fighter-plane-thing dog fight sequence. This is in the first 50 pages. Yeah. Full of win.

RETRIBUTION FALLS tells the story of Frey, the caption of the Ketty Jay, an airship. As with most pirate-ish novels, Frey and his crew are small-time smugglers and pirates--a glorified black market delivery crew. You could probably guess that when they take a job that should give them an easy paycheck, things go absurdly bad. Airships explode, people die, and the crew of the Ketty Jay is framed for it. A standard plot, more or less. The execution of it is what rocked our worlds.

Do you remember the first time you saw Han Solo? His devil-may-care attitude, blowing the crap out of Greedo (Han shot FIRST!), and introducing the whiny Luke to the Millennium Falcon really sold us on how awesome Han was. This is very similar. Frey is our story's Han Solo, and the Ketty Jay is very much the Millennium Falcon. He has a full complement of crew on board, and they all are (obviously) running from something. We have a fighter pilot, a doctor, a daemonist (summons daemons and can attach them to things to enchant them), a golem (courtesy of the daemonist), and many more. Every character has a place, and they all either grow tremendously over the course of the novel, or they suffer extreme personal consequences due to the events that transpire. We loved every single character--a rarity for us.

The pacing, true to an adventure-like novel, was crazy fast the entire time. Action scenes bleed into more action scenes, with political intrigue and humor tying them together. Joe Abercrombie has a cover quote on the front cover, and really that should tell you all your need to know about the action and pacing. But don't mistake this for a balls-out, action-only popcorn read. There is some serious political and religious foundation building going on here. There are some very powerful character moments as well.

RETRIBUTION FALLS is the best adventure story we have read in years. Go read it, and when you finish, check your reflection in a mirror. You are bound to see a huge smile on your face. Chris Wooding has given us a series worth following. A series, you ask? Oh yes, a wonder series of retro-SF adventure pirate novels (you KNOW that sounds effing awesome). The sequel comes out shortly in the UK. We suggest you go import book 1, and preorder book 2, BLACK LUNG CAPTAIN.

Recommended Age: 16 and up.
Language: There is some, and every so-often it gets strong, but nothing you don't expect from smugglers/pirates.
Violence: Oh yes, and it is in equal measures amazing, and heart-breaking. The action is awesomely executed from top to bottom.
Sex: Innuendo in action and dialogue. Nothing shown.

Chris Wooding's website--he is awesome, go tell him so:

http://www.chriswooding.com/

Robert McCammon is probably best known for his Horror novels. Some of his best work, however, is in the genre of Historical Fiction. Hopefully you have read his two previous novels involving the character Matthew Corbett, SPEAKS THE NIGHTBIRD and THE QUEEN OF BEDLAM. If not, you have been missing out. The novels take place 1699 (and progress over the following years) in colonial America. McCammon's newest Matthew Corbett novel, MISTER SLAUGHTER (such a great title), was released earlier this year by Subterranean Press.

MISTER SLAUGHTER, at its core, is a manhunt story...a very good manhunt story. Our PoV, Corbett, is an understudy problem-solver to Hudson Greathouse. They are given a job of escorting a prisoner, Tyranthus Slaughter, to a boat bound for England where Slaughter will stand trial for several murders. It should come as no surprise that Slaughter escapes, and a manhunt ensues. The reasons for the escape are better left to your reading discovery.

There is a misconception that Historical Fiction must be slow-paced, and riddled with pages upon pages of historical exposition. This is probably why we mostly avoid the genre. McCammon doesn't do this. To some, this will come as a welcome relief (yup, we include ourselves in this camp). To others, however, the lack of a history lesson will turn them off (weirdos). McCammon admits that his novels aren't 100% historically accurate, and that he blends several decades of colonial progress into just a few years. He does it to tell a more compelling story, and to keep the pacing at full-throttle.

Now, it should be noted that MISTER SLAUGHTER is about half the size of each of the two previous novels in the series. This does two things. First, it prevents the novel from getting bogged down in historical data. Secondly, it narrows the focus of the novel. MISTER SLAUGHTER trims out all the filler material that sometimes bogged down the prior entries, and focuses on the character growth of Corbett. We see a dramatic shift in his attitude, and he is set up for some potentially fantastic future stories.

There is some pretty violent scenes in this novel, true to McCammon's horror roots. They often come out of nowhere, and are sufficiently shocking and brutal, yet amazingly written, and perfectly in character for those performing the acts. The first quarter of the book deals with Corbett dealing with the after effects of the prior novel, and the attitude that they have given him. The rest of the novel deals with the manhunt of Slaughter. Towards the end of the novel, a large set of events transpire that link this novel to the events and history of the prior volumes, and set us up for awesome future novels.

Now, we know what you are thinking. Can you read this novel without picking up the large prior novels? Absolutely. We certainly recommend you read the other two, as they are fantastic reads, but McCammon has a way of clearly and succinctly describing events of the prior novels so that the reader doesn't feel lost. It also doesn't hurt that this is a fairly stand-alone story. If you go this route, you'll probably want to go buy the other two novels as soon as you finish this one.

Did we have any issues? Of course. A part nearing the final pages of the novel felt very convenient/coincidental. There were sections where it felt just a bit too streamlined. There are anachronisms. The first quarter of the novel doesn't seem like it meshes 100% with the remainder of the novel (with the previous novels, yes, but not the current one). But really, these are pretty minor complaints, and didn't take away any significant enjoyment.

MISTER SLAUGHTER is a streamlined (clocks in at around 450 pages--that really is streamlined for McCammon) adventure/manhunt story in a historical setting. We were reminded of Thomas Harris' Hannibal Lector stories, and a little Sweeney Todd, which should give you a fairly good idea about the tone and pacing of McCammon's latest. You should hop over to Subterranean Press and buy a copy--they are selling MISTER SLAUGHTER at the normal hardback price. With it being such a great read, not to mention the top-notch quality of printing and art that Sub. Press puts out, its $25 is well worth the price.

Recommended Age: 17 and up.
Language: Yeah there is some, and when it happens it can be pretty strong. You may cry, "anachronisms!" but you should just deal with it and enjoy the face-paced story.
Violence: Yeah. Lots. And it can be pretty brutal. But it is very well written.
Sex: Some sexual dialogue, as well as a violent scene. Not for kiddies.

Robert McCammon's Website:
http://www.robertmccammon.com/

Subterranean Press
http://www.subterraneanpress.com/

Steampunk. You can hardly go wrong with it. It's that genre that is filled with airships, goggles and adventure. With the novel BONESHAKER, Cherie Priest tries her hand at the steampunk genre.

We had heard a lot about this novel. Authors, editors, and readers everywhere called it amazing. We had heard it called one of the best steampunk novels ever written. Do you see where this is going? Yeah. We were let down. WAY down.

We'll start with the premise. BONESHAKER takes place in Seattle during and after the gold rush in the Klondike. It is an interesting period in US history, and a great place to introduce a steampunk technology. The idea here is that a contest was held to see who could invent a machine that could easily tunnel through the snow, ice, and rock to excavate the gold. Leviticus Blue, living in Seattle, invents such a machine--the Boneshaker. The first time the machine is turned on, however, it destroys nearly the entire town. In the aftermath of the destruction, the deep diggings the Boneshaker uncover a gas that essentially turns people into zombies. Seattle is walled off, and chapter one starts 15 years after the described events. Out main characters are Briar and Zeke Wilkes, the wife and son of Leviticus Blue. It is a cool mesh of ideas in theory, but the execution was lacking in nearly every aspect.

What let us down with this novel? Well, nothing was really developed. There were times where we felt like we were reading an outline of ideas rather than a fully developed story. Think about it. We have all the steampunk tropes; adventure, airships, clockwork and gear based machinery, and goggles (you can't have steampunk without goggles). We have some cool alternate history that is set during the gold rush and the Civil War. We have zombies, Native Americans, and sky pirates. The list goes on. Yet the book is a short 400 pages. There just wasn't enough time to give any depth to the awesome mesh of ideas. By not having too many interesting, but shallowly described ideas yelling for our attention, we found it difficult to connect with anything. BONESHAKER may have benefited from being longer, and more detailed.

The characters in the novel should have been interesting, but instead left us feeling rather "meh." Zeke runs into the walled city of Seattle to find proof that his father and grandfather were good people. Briar follows him. The worry they feel, and their relationship should have drawn us to the main PoVs. Instead, their relationship was devoid of the details that normally would draw us to them. We just couldn't make ourselves care about them. The side characters felt mostly like cardboard cut-outs that were just there for scenery. The sky pirates/smugglers are lame, and the Native American Princess felt tacked on and random. In short, the characters were impossible to connect with, and were boring. They were random bits of filler that did more harm than good.

Now, in a steampunk novel, some shortcomings can be overlooked if the adventure aspect or the technological aspect of the novel is executed well. Neither was the case in BONESHAKER. The action was so muddled, that at times it took a few re-reads of the pages just to determine what was actually happening. The steampunk technology? There really wasn't any. Really, it was all limited to people wearing gas masks. There are very brief mentions and showings of airships, a chick has a mechanical arm, and the breathing systems people use get fancy at times. That's it. No clockwork robots. The actual Boneshaker machine is never shown in action. In fact, the novel is barely steampunk at all. The zombies? Shown maybe three times, and they don't manage to lend any sort of menace or scare to the story. Again, filler.

With all the bad, surely there must be something good, right? Well yeah. The moments between muddled action sequences are well written, if lacking in detail. The idea of how Seattle became a walled-in disaster was excellently done. The book itself is awesome looking. The cover is great, and the ink color of the text is a brownish color that perfectly fit the time-frame of the story.

A lot of people liked BONESHAKER. A lot of people will pick up this book and love it. We, however, just felt is was mediocre. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't anywhere close to the awesomeness that were were led to believe. Maybe that was part of why we were so underwhelmed.

If you are a die-hard reader of steampunk, then you could probably find something here to like, but it won't live up to the other novels of the same genre that you have already read. If you are a complete newbie to steampunk, this book could serve as an introduction to the genre that you may find decent.

Recommended Age: 15 and up.
Language: Some. And fairly strong in the short bursts when it happens.
Violence: There is some violence, but it is described poorly.
Sex: Nope.

James Dashner's THE MAZE RUNNER has garnered a lot of attention since it's release. It is a novel filled with really cool and unique ideas, so on that end, its attention is completely understandable.

The plot centers around a group of amnesiac teenagers, stuck together in a foreign, hostile, and deadly maze, where bizarre creatures roam. These creatures are called Grievers, and they hunt the Gladers--as the kids call themselves--while the walls of the Maze are constantly changing. They are in marginal contact with their "captors" who send them supplies and new kids. However, the schedule of "one new kid a month" is broken the day after the main character Thomas arrives, when Teresa, the first girl Glader ever arrives with a message that "Everything is going to change." We should mention hate this over-used phrase.

We both froth at the mouth for a good dystopian story, go into convulsions for a post-apocalyptic story, and one of Nick's favorite topics is social experimentation. With all of that going for it, you would think this good would be a shoo-in for a recommendation for us, right?

Uh...hesitantly so. Kinda. The first conclusion that we both came to after reading the book, was that it was a fantastic book, completely entertaining, and ridiculously annoying. It's probably the most irritating good book we have read.

The first thing to mention about our irritation is that it has all the bad parts of the TV show Lost, and the irritation of WoT. None of the characters will communicate! We think it is cheating to fake adversity because the characters act like idiots, when it behooves them not to. Maybe we give too much credit to humanity, but when there is a problem to be solved, usually people will, at least eventually, come together to solve it. While the Gladers do cooperate to create a kind of Lord of the Flies hierarchy and governance so that they can survive, they don't cooperate when it matters most.

It seems like Dashner just included zero communication simply for the sake of adding conflict. So many times it made sense for the characters to talk to each other, but instead nearly all of the dialog devolves into "You're so dumb for asking that question. We aren't going to explain anything to you because you're a newbie. We get really upset and irritated when you ask questions, but we sure aren't going to answer them so you will stop asking. We'd prefer that you just keep asking us questions so we can call you names and stay in this awesome Maze forever. Let's go eat, so you can ask me more questions that we won't answer so we can call you more names, that you don't understand, because we won't answer your questions."

OK...we exaggerate...barely. Some quotes from the book:

"Why do you come in here asking stupid questions? It's really annoying." No, Dashner, what is annoying is your way of avoiding having to answer questions.

"Thomas wanted to scream. He knew he had a lot to learn. That's why he was asking questions." We wanted to scream too.

Another thing that bugged us, more than just a little bit, were the logical inconsistencies in the book. Yeah, we know it is a YA book, and perhaps our expectations were a bit too high. Admittedly, when we read a book like this we want our minds blown, not mildly stirred.

Example? For over TWO YEARS the Gladers were mucking about in the Maze, and they couldn't figure it out until Thomas and Teresa came to the Glade. The solution was obvious from close to the beginning, and we both were hoping it would be something a bit more inventive. It wasn't, which made us mad because we couldn't believe it never occurred to the characters to try it.

Then there is the fact that if the characters get stung by a Griever, if they get back to the Glade in time, they are given Grief Serum which briefly, and violently restores some of their memories. But if they talk about them, something happens they wind up doing crazy stuff like trying to kill themselves. Well a certain character (we don't want to spoil it) gets stung, gets the Serum, and then proceeds to disobey all the rules Dashner has set on how characters react to this...with no repercussions.

So yeah. Logic holes. They bother us.

Also...the book hamstrings itself. The aforementioned problems keep the throttle in idle instead of letting it roar, and the ending happens a few chapters too early, making the climax actually pretty boring.

We guess we should throw in a mention of what we actually thought of the characters themselves. Honestly, it was somewhat hard for us to care about them. Dashner's focus on denying information to both the characters and the reader was 100% successful, but had the side effect of denying us a connection to them. When any of them died, it was with no drama, for us, whatsoever. We didn't care at all what happened to any of them. Even when a certain character dies that was supposed to be a big deal...well, it just wasn't.

OK, that's a lot of negative...and normally would be enough for us to put the book down. However, it was a short read. Just a couple hours, which helped it out immensely. We both, despite the irritation, liked the book. When we talked about it, it was much harder to define why we liked it than why we didn't but we kept coming back to the conclusion that we did enjoy it. How's that for vague?

Perhaps it was the fact that it truly was an attempt at something very unique. Yes it took things that have been done, but blended them into this cross-genre tale. If you took ENDER'S GAME and LORD OF THE FLIES, and smashed them together, you would get something a lot like this. Which, is more than just one point in the win column.

We suppose our final conclusion is that if you like to read YA a lot, and you can forgive the lack of communication in the novel, you should give this book a try. If you like dystopian stories, then you will find something to enjoy here.


Recommended Age: 13 and up.
Language: Well it is obvious that Dashner wanted some vulgarity in the dialog, but he replaces all the words with something else. We know what he is saying, but it doesn't actually swear at all.
Violence: There are a few scenes but it is really tame.
Sex: None. At all.

WARRIORS is an extremely cool idea for an anthology. It is a collection of multiple stories, from various genres, written by some of the biggest names in speculative fiction. Martin, in his preface talks about how he wanted the book to have no specific genre attached to it (though the cover makes it seem as if it is an epic fantasy anthology), and in this sense the anthology succeeds magnificently. There are short stories from genres spanning fantasy, historic fiction, SF, WWII, and even western. Each of them tells a tale of a "warrior" in that particular setting. Martin's thought here is that books should broaden our reading perspective, and WARRIORS specifically should show us something new. In this anthology, there truly is something for everyone, and any reader would be hard-pressed not to enjoy it.

Let's get on with the name-dropping. The anthology was edited by George R. R. Martin and Gardner Dozois, and contains short stories by Tad Williams, Robert Silverberg, Cecelia Holland, Naomi Novik, S. M. Stirling, David Weber, James Rollins (or James Clemens for you fantasy-only readers) and a bajillion others.

With anthologies it is usually the expectation that there will be a few gems, a majority of average stories, and then a few puke-worthy filler pieces. Warriors goes ahead and throws that expectation in your face, with the force of a 733 page book. Yeah, this is a large anthology. Very nearly every story in the collection met our expectations, and entertained us completely. Some noteworthy mentions:

Cecelia Holland continues to write magnificent historic fiction (we have loved her writing since we picked up VARANGER at World Fantasy 09, and then read the rest of her novels). Her short story is gritty, immediate, visceral, and wholly entertaining. What else would you expect from a tale about viking warriors?

Robert Silverberg gives us the most interesting (to Nick anyway) tale. While being slower paced than some of the other entries in the anthology, it is much deeper and much more engrossing. Silverberg's characters are soldiers that have been left out of contact with their superiors for a long time, and who struggle with how long they should continue in their task. The naming syntax used in this short story was also pretty ingenious. It was nothing done new, but it was especially evocative in this specific case.

Carrie Vaughn's story is probably the most thought provoking, and gives us a glimpse into a fairly unknown part of our own history. During WWII there was a group of pilots called WASP, or Women Airforce Service Pilots. The story is powerful, engrossing, and illuminating. Not too shabby from the chick who writes Urban Fantasy.

George R. R. Martin gives us a new Dunk and Egg story. This is where we had our biggest problem with the anthology. It took immense, god-like, control on our parts to not let the name George R. R. Martin color our review of the rest of the anthology. This was not easily done, especially when he not only has a novella included in it but, his name is on the cover as one of the editors. We have both (but Nick especially) begun nurturing the beginnings of resentment and general loss-of-respect for GRRM. It seems like he is doing absolutely everything within his power to do everything he possible can...other than write anything worthwhile in the A Song of Ice and Fire sequence. We have Wild Cards stuff coming, an HBO series, and this anthology (among other works), while we sit and wait for the next ASoIaF novel--a novel which isn't even anything close to bringing to story to a close. Its just the second half of the incomplete 4th book. He has repeatedly stated he doesn't owe his readers anything, but his is false (not to mention absurd). When you write a story, you make a promise to your readers. So...while The Mystery Knight (the novella by GRRM) is well written, as we have come to expect from George, we hated what it represented. Its like being promised a new car for Christmas and getting a Hot Wheels. Yay...

On the other hand--speaking of editors--Gardner Dozois' story delivered and was suitably dark and entertaining for us. Not only that, but it mentions Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Lindsay Lohan, Facebook, and World of Warcraft. Sadly he neglected Elitist Book Reviews. We emailed Dozois about his oversight. The story is extremely bizarre and foreign, but shows just how weird things can get if you are a good writer.

We could go on about all the fantastic stories, because most of them were, but instead we urge you to pick up WARRIORS and see if George R. R. Martin can convert you to his spinner-rack idea. When all is said and done, WARRIORS is the kind of anthology that everyone should be reading. It is the kind of quality anthology that readers have been waiting for. Instead of buying some anthology of beginning writers, most of which won't write anything else of value in their futures, how about you pick up this mammoth 733 page anthology written by proven professionals so you can learn from the best. It is well worth the cover price. This is perhaps one of the best anthologies we have ever read.

Recommended Age: 18 and up
Language: Its a mixed bag. Some stories don't have any. Others (like James Rollins-who wrote a brilliant short story) have quite a bit.
Violence: The title of the anthology is called Warriors...
Sex: There are various depictions of sex, from adultery in the Lawrence Block story, to the Carrie Vaughn story which has sexism is one of the central points.

If there was one 2010 fantasy series that had us chomping at the bit, it was Adrian Tchaikovsky's Shadows of the Apt. Finally, after salivating over its inevitable US release, we finally got to taste the dish that the UK has enjoyed without us; EMPIRE IN BLACK AND GOLD.

How about we start from the outside? The cover art on EMPIRE is simply unbelievable (and yes, the covers are as awesome on the two sequels we also have in our hands; DRAGONFLY RISING and BLOOD OF THE MANTIS). You know we judge books on their covers all the time. The cover of EMPIRE lends perfectly to its content, and gives the immediate impression of war and chaos. It is in our personal opinions that our US covers for this series are far superior to their UK counterparts. About time, right?

So, after gazing lovingly at the cover for a good long while, we opened up EMPIRE hoping the unique premise we had read about was delivered. It could have gone wrong. Horribly wrong, even. It wasn't perfect, but it was a far cry from bad, or even mediocre.

Just think about it. Tchaikovsky's Shadows of the Apt series, human races have taken on aspects of different insects. You know as well as we do that this could have been sooooo bad. Instead what we are really given is a slightly more unique take on dwarves and elves. Honestly, we were a tad disappointed initially. Too many of the different cultures in EMPIRE were far too reminiscent of the races we have already read about a thousand times. One of the aspects that a culture takes in EMPIRE is that of the Beetle. They may as well have been called dwarves. The Mantis? Elves. Thankfully, things didn't go much further than that. We were given enough unique ideas to balance the thinly veiled similar ones--like the Ants, who are incredibly cool warriors that, obviously, think collectively--that the presentation was fresh enough to keep us involved. Realistically, the majority of the readers won't immediately identify the disguised clichés, and really even when we realized what was going on, we were still swept along by the story. This, dear readers, is the mark of a good storyteller.

Now, one thing we didn't know going in, was how full the world would be. In EMPIRE, we are introduced to a whole lot of world. A world where the melding of technology, industry, and the traditional fantasy elements we are familiar with is at near perfection. There are complex machines used, and all are well designed and described, as well as their relationship to the culture created in EMPIRE. The moment the quasi-steampunk elements began being introduced, we began to genuinely be sucked into the world.

With a multitude of races (insect-aspects), naturally comes a multitude of conflict. Fear, ignoring danger for profit, crucifying religion for reason, racism, etc. It makes for a very engaging fantasy book. The issues are tangible and real, without feeling arbitrarily political. At it's core, EMPIRE is an extremely thoughtful book while telling an entertaining tale.

What is the book about? The easy answer is the Wasp Empire is on a conquering spree, Alexander the Great style. Our main PoVs, basically, are spies. In the first chapters, Tchiakovsky gives a real sense of threat. No, not during the initial attack by the Wasp Empire in the first chapter (which is really more of a prologue, and is quite awesome in itself). It is after, when the main character Stenwold realizes he has spent years and years preparing, and has still run out of time. When we are introduced the other four main PoVs (naturally each being of a different insect aspect to fully showcase the diversity), we are treated to their attempts to fully grasp the magnitude of what an invading Wasp Empire means.

Tchiakovsky is a gifted writer, but perhaps his biggest failing was with PoV. We both had frustrations with the swapping of multiple PoVs on the same page. It was almost an omniscient perspective, but...not. He would stay at an omniscient level, but then delve down into 3rd Person Limited when it suited...and then back to omniscient. The other big problem was description during fight scenes. It was all very generic and drawn out. We have come to expect and want, especially from UK authors, a certain sense of immediacy and danger to the violent scenes. EMPIRE just didn't have it.

EMPIRE is a fantastic first book that opens up an intriguing series. Despite some of our problems, we really were easily caught up in the story that Tchiakovsky weaves. There were very few lulls in the pacing, and we can only expect this will get better later as Adrian improves his writing. Since we just put down EMPIRE, we can say that honestly, we are itching to pick up the sequels.

Adrian Tchaikovsky, after all was said and done, didn't let us down with EMPIRE IN BLACK AND GOLD. Take our advice and go pick this book up.

Recommended Age: 15 and up.
Language: Not really.
Violence: Yep, but as we mentioned before, sometimes the scenes are vague, and it hurts the action a bit.
Sex: There are some frank discussions on it, but nothing on an R Scott Bakker level.

Adrian's website:
http://shadowsoftheapt.com/

When we first started Elitist Book Reviews, we set things rolling with a review of a (then) UK only release. It was a YA Urban Fantasy/Horror novel by Dan Wells that goes by the title; I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER--a story about John Wayne Cleaver, a young teenager who has all the markers of becoming a serial killer. Think of it as a young Dexter (the Jeff Lindsay character), but much better written, better paced, more character-driven, and containing borderline paranormal aspects done right. In short, it was, for us, one of the best novels released in 2009.

This is the part where we say how much we love Dan Wells, and the character he created in John Cleaver. Not only does the second book, MR. MONSTER, live up to the expectations of the fantastic first novel, it completely blows it out of the water. MR. MONSTER is better in every way than its predecessor. If I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER was one of the best novels of 2009, MR. MONSTER is currently one of the best novels of the past FIVE years.

We. Freaking. Loved. It.

Now, for your benefit, we should probably mention that we have read this book before. Like, a long time ago, in its draft form. If you haven't figured it out by now, we are good friends with Dan. We are test readers for him. And before you ask, no, we are not biased. We are friends with plenty of authors whose work we don't foam from the mouth over. Also, as a final point of interest, MR. MONSTER was just released in the UK, and won't be available in the US until October-ish.

Anyways, back to the review.

There are a lot of reasons why we loved MR. MONSTER. First of all, we just love being able to read another story about John Wayne Cleaver. MR. MONSTER takes place several months after the events of I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER, and from the first page, we hit the ground running. The final events of the first book have taken a toll on our teenage protagonist. Why is that important? Because Dan shows us within a few pages that all actions have consequences in his story-arc. John Cleaver is a character undergoing a metamorphosis, and it is a measure of Dan's writing that he can pull it off so convincingly. His PoV is simply one of the best, and one of our favorites, in speculative fiction.

Another great thing about MR. MONSTER is its ability to stand as its own novel. Yes, it is a sequel. Yes, you should read the first book (to FINALLY be released in the US at the end of March). But really, MR. MONSTER is its own...uh...monster. Now what do we mean by this? Well obviously the book isn't meant to be a stand alone. In fact, pay careful attention to how we said it could stand on its own, not be a standalone. The plot feels fairly episodic, but not in the ridiculous serial drama sort of fashion where the character never changes. No really, a person, in order to appreciate what the protagonist is going through, needs to read the first book. The first is all about preventing the release of John Wayne Cleaver's inner turmoil. The second focuses, after all that trying to bottle it up, on what happens when it is released.

By setting up the book this way, in an episodic feel, Dan Wells neatly avoids the potential pitfalls of writing the middle book of a trilogy. This time around, John Cleaver is living with the consequences of his actions in book 1. He is dealing with an agent from the FBI. He continues his struggles with a dysfunctional family(Nick's psychology education takes issue with this phrase, but we will use anyway). And, of course, another killer is on the loose. The contained arc of this story--not to mention the perfect pacing--make this novel one of the best reading experiences you are likely to have...until book 3. Yes, we are cruel for even mentioning it. And yes, we LOVE being cruel this way. Did we mention we have already read book 3 too? Neener Neener.

MR. MONSTER (the name of the book, and also the name John Cleaver gives to his inner killer) is a YA novel, but it is easily better than a majority of "older" fiction. Its accessibility makes it a read that (nearly) everyone can enjoy. However, if we could mention one thing, MR. MONSTER is quite a bit darker than the first book. There are some parts that disturbed us...even on the re-read (Well Steve WAS disturbed by the content, Nick IS disturbed...so it didn't effect him.). It should in no way keep you from reading the book, but hey, our job is to keep you informed right?

We were asked recently to give a little blurb about MR. MONSTER for potential press stuff. Here is what we said:

With Mr. Monster, Dan Wells has given us an intense, riveting, gut-wrenching dive into the dark world of the demons within us. His main character, John Wayne Cleaver, manages to thoroughly freak us out while simultaneously being one of the most sympathetic characters in the horror genre. Let your own inner monster free, and immerse yourself in this dark, page-turning adventure.

Pretty good eh? Well, now you know what we think.


Recommended Age: 15 and up. This is a tad higher than the rating we gave book one, but the content is a tad more intense in MR. MONSTER.
Language: A little. Nothing major.
Violence: Uh, yeah. Did we mention we were a little disturbed even though this was our second read-through?
Sex: None. This is YA Urban Fantasy/Horror, not effing Gossip Girl (not that we know what that is or anything...)

Before the list of mandatory websites for you to visit, we want to mention something really quick about book one, I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER. If you haven't read our review, or even if you have, make sure to go check out what we had to say, due to it's upcoming US release, and make sure you read IANASK itself.

Review for I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER -- click HERE (and the actual address for the clicking impaired: http://elitistbookreviews.blogspot.com/2009/08/i-am-not-serial-killer.html)

Dan Wells' Website:
http://www.fearfulsymmetry.net/

Dan's Forum:
http://www.timewastersguide.com/forum/index.php?board=28.0

Writing Excuses:
http://www.writingexcuses.com/

Best Place to get the UK Versions of the John Cleaver Novels:
http://www.bookdepository.com/

THE NEW DEAD is a zombie anthology (surprised?) edited by Christopher Golden, and it goes by the title ZOMBIE in the UK. Included in this collection are stories by Tad Williams (the guy's is everywhere lately), Jonathan Maberry, Max Brooks, Mike Carey, John Connolly, Joe Hill, Kelly Armstrong, and a bajillion others. This was one of the few short-fiction collections that really had us excited, and we were lucky enough to get a copy sent to us by Jonathan Maberry's publicist for review purposes.

The short version? This was an excellent collection. Long version? OK fine, we'll give you that too.

Typically, short-fiction is hard for us to read, not to mention review. Most of the time we begin a short-fiction anthology, and can't even finish it. Of course, at that point, it isn't worth writing a review about, and it wouldn't be worth your time to read the review of the terrible collection. THE NEW DEAD, however, was quite different. While there were a few throw-away stories (like there are in every anthology), a majority of the stories were fantastic.

Now, what makes a good zombie story? Is it the fact that corpses are running around eating people? Or that "survival-horror" element? The way people deal with an apocalypse? The humor inherent in chase scenes involving slow-moving, animated corpses? Or is it the concept of resurrection? Well, the truth is ALL of these have potential. Luckily, since this is short-fiction, we get to see all of these ideas in action, and we get one of the most entertaining reads of the year thus-far.

The opening story by John Connolly, "Lazarus," is a different take on the resurrection of Lazarus in the Bible. Jonathan Maberry's "The Family Business" is a tale of a young boy trying to figure out his place in a post-apocalyptic zombie world. It was one of the standout stories, and thankfully, Maberry is taking it and expanding it/reworking it to be a YA series titled ROT & RUIN--the full length novel will be released later this year, and we are anxiously awaiting the advance review copy. Max Brooks, of course, give us a story from his World War Z creation, which was fantastic. We were surprised to find a story by Mike Carey (author of THE DEVIL YOU KNOW). It's about a stock trader who consciously becomes a zombie so he can keep working without needing rest. For a guy known primarily for Epic Fantasy, Tad Williams has the story that was Steve's favorite. It has an Urban Fantasy feel to it, with a slight Lovecraft stylistic approach. Yeah. It was fraking awesome. The most surprising story? Joe Hill's (if you didn't know, Joe Hill is Stephen King's son) story told in Twitter tweets. We initially figured it would just be too odd to be good, but it turned out to be surprisingly funny and simultaneously horrific. It follows a girl Tweeting from her family vacation, and their trip to The Circus of the Damned.

Look, if you a fan of Zombie stories like we are, you should go buy the collection. It will run you around $15, and it's a trade paperback, though we would have happily paid a hardback price for it. Seriously, we didn't even talk about Kelly Armstrong's story, or David Liss' story (we have to leave you some surprises after all). This just has too much good Zombieness in it to be ignored. It is seriously one of the most entertaining anthologies we have read. Period. Good job, Christopher Golden.

Recommended Age: 17 and up.
Language: Yeah. Lots.
Violence: Seriously? It's a zombie anthology. What do YOU think?
Sex: Yep. Some stories have some, some don't. Some is graphic, some isn't.

Here is your link:

THE NEW DEAD