Elitist Book Reviews

Have you met Dexter Morgan? Surely you have watched the Showtime series based on his character, or even better, read the absurdly entertaining novels by Jeff Lindsay?

If you answered "no" to any of those questions, you have problems.

It's time everyone met Dexter, a blood-spatter specialist who works for the Miami Police Department. He is good at his job. He has a girlfriend. His tries to take care of his sister (also in the Miami P.D.).

Dexter Morgan is also a serial killer.

DARKLY DREAMING DEXTER is the first novel in an on-going series by Jeff Lindsay. In this first novel we are introduced to Dexter as he takes us on an introductory ride to one of his kills. Don't worry, Dexter only kills the scum of Miami. He kills the murderers, rapists, child molesters, and worse that escape punishment. A sympathetic serial killer. We love it, and so should you.

Now, if you actually watched the television series without reading the novels, this first book holds a few surprises. The supporting cast is quite differently portrayed and the attitudes of the characters are slightly different in the novel. The body count is higher as well. More importantly and interestingly, we get a more in-depth look into the mind of our Dearly Devoted Dexter (see what we did there? We took the title of book 2 in the series and used it in a sentence. Aren't we clever?). This first book has Dexter tracking down a serial killer whose "work" seems to call to him...whose work seems to be a personal message to Dexter.

DARKLY DREAMING DEXTER is wildly entertaining, and well worth the money of a purchase. Luckily, after this first book, the TV series and the books diverge quite radically, giving us more Dexter to enjoy.

Recommended Age: 18 and up.
Language: The novel takes place in a police department. In Miami. And our main character is a serial killer. Oh yeah, there is a lot of language.
Violence: If you are actually asking this question, we are going to send Dexter over to your house to kill you. Violently. There is a ton of violence in this series of novels.
Sex: Mostly innuendo, though we do get some sex. This isn't like the TV series that seems to force that content on you.

Go check out Lindsay's site.

http://www.randomhouse.com/doubleday/dexter/

"The world breeds no heroes now."

This line from the novel WINTERBIRTH, by Brian Ruckley, sums up our main observation after reading the novel. WINTERBIRTH is marketed as both Epic Fantasy and Heroic Fantasy. What does that mean? Well, for starters, it means we have heroes in some sort of capacity. It also means we should have blood and battle...and in high quantities. Epic Fantasy usually involves some sort of epic quest, or a huge, all-engrossing plot that the heroes must stop. Heroic Fantasy means we have heroic and tragic last-stands.

There was nothing epic about this fantasy, and as for battles...can someone please explain to us why the first battle in the novel happens more than half-way through the book? OR WHY THERE WERE NO OTHER MAJOR BATTLES AT ALL IN THE ENTIRE NOVEL? It's enough to make us think we are taking crazy-pills.

Call us bitter. Call us angry. It's ok, because we are. There are so many other novels out there that we could be reading; novels that would make us proud to review. WINTERBIRTH took us away from those novels.

It's not that the writing is poor. It is actually quite good, and it alone kept us reading. But what is Heroic Fantasy without the blood and sword? In a word: boring. Ruckley's novel is at its best when the characters (with whom we have absolutely no attachment - another problem in itself) are wading into their limited engagements of fighting. The paperback of this novel counts 688 pages - epic in length for sure, but bland as tofu. Maybe 20 pages are of Heroic Fantasy mayhem. The marketing on the novel suggests Ruckley's work is in the tradition of the late and great David Gemmell. We believe Gemmell would scoff at only 20 pages of action in a novel.

In addition, we feel a little taken advantage of. The prologue to the book mentions a race that sounds awesome, only then to tell us they were the victims of a genocidal crusade. So...no cool race. Another of the races that we have frequent contact with in the novel sound, act, and look suspiciously like elves...only they have an unpronounceable name...but don't worry, they speak a foreign language that looks like elvish, only it isn't. Look, if it's an elf, call it an elf (this is where we thank the UK author James Barclay for his honesty).

As you can tell, we are frustrated. We wanted to like this novel, but that proved an impossibility. This isn't to say that we can't enjoy a novel that doesnt have action. Take R. Scott Bakker's first novel THE DARKNESS THAT COMES BEFORE. Astonishing in its greatness, and very little action throughout. We just felt that in this particular book it's absence wasnt outweighed by other cool stuff.

Recommended Age: 13 and up...if you can stand it.
Language: Nope.
Violence: The few times we get it, it is great, and it is brutal. Too bad we rarely get any.
Sex: Alluded to, but never shown.

It was hard to approach this book without wetting our pants in excitement. R. Scott Bakker is Nick's favorite author, by far, and owes Steve for introducing him to The Prince of Nothing series.

After reading the book a number of times we have decided how we can proceed on this review. We will make a concession right here and now. As much as we'd like to, it is completely impossible to review this book without comparing it to Bakker's earlier trilogy set 20 years prior to the events in, this, the beginning of his second trilogy.

We love Bakker and his work, but the heartbreaking truth is that THE JUDGING EYE doesn't even come close to the powerhouse of his first trilogy. If this is a sign of things to come Nick may just have a breakdown.

Let's start with the action. It is overblown to the point of ridiculousness. In the first series there was maybe a handful of characters that could do what was done by nearly every character in combat in THE JUDGING EYE, lending weight to the fantastical action sequences. We also know, pretty much from the get-go, who is going to survive the action scenes. They were frenetic and deadly, but at the same time they were disappointing and lackluster.

The characters must have had some sort of intellect draining disease over the 20 years since The Prince of Nothing series leaves off and THE JUDGING EYE picks up. Kellhus is one dimensional, and utterly boring in this installment. Achamian is irritating with his relentless self pity and hatred (which is a MAJOR disappointment - Achamian was THE MAN in the first trilogy). There is a complete lack of female characters who have not been sexually taken advantage of. Bakker's misogyny is quite evident here.

Kellhus and Esme's children make no sense. Kellhus has...certain abilities...but they came from both thousands of years of genetic sifting, as well as training. His children not only share their genes with Esme, who isn't exact;y a genetic trophy winner, but they haven't had the specific training Kellhus has. Despite this however, all his kids are basically emotionless replicas of him. Makes for a confusing and boring read. Not to mention, if they are all intellectual superheroes, like Kellhus, how come they can't figure out why certain things (avoiding spoilers, remember?) happen to and around them?

The plot was almost all set up. Of the few things that actually happen, some are beyond the suspension of belief, which is saying something while reading a dark fantasy like this.

The entire book really just hearkens back to Bakker's reverence for Tolkien, and it shows just a little bit too much. His own plotting ability seemed to get lost and he just took his own world and fit it to THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. You see, there is this wizard, he has a team of warriors, they go into deep, dark caverns, they fight an endless horde of nightmares, and there is even a giant demon. Sound familiar? It should, to anyone that has even heard of fantasy before, and it especially should have sounded familiar to Bakker. So this begs the question...how did Bakker think he could get away with this?

Final conclusion. Bakker spent 20 years writing his first trilogy. We don't think he was prepared to write his newest entry into the series this soon. THE JUDGING EYE showcases Bakker's vocabulary, and ability to write descriptions, but little else that was positive.

If you are a Bakker fanatic like both Nick and Steve, go and pick it up, just don't expect it it compare to The Prince of Nothing Trilogy. If you don't know who Bakker is, pick up his first novel, Go grab his first stuff off Amazon.com - start with THE DARKNESS THAT COMES BEFORE, and treat yourself to the beginning of the deepest fantasy trilogy available right now. If you are somewhere in the middle, we say wait on THE JUDGING EYE for the trilogy to be finished and see where Bakker goes with it.

Recommended Age: 18 and up.
Language: Plenty of it.
Violence: Yep. Its here, but it is so overblown it could be read like comic book action.
Sex: It is present, both in act and allusion. Nearly every female character has a history of sexual exploitation. A few of the main characters are ex-prostitutes and have recurring issues because of it.

Special Note: What you have to understand about Bakker, and specifically his Prince of Nothing Trilogy, is that he doesn't pull any punches. This is the darkest of dark fantasy. THE STEEL REMAINS by Richard K. Morgan has nothing on Bakker. There is a huge amount of violence, language, and sex in Bakker's work, not to mention a VERY deep study on manipulation. BakkerBakker's work, but the very aspects of it that make it so much more than any onther fantasy novel also make it very hard to recommend without worrying that we are going to offend the people who trust our recommendations. Just keep this in mind when you are deciding on the purchase of Bakker.

Lest you dear readers feel we have a prejudice against novels that are written for young adults or children, we are here today to prove you wrong.

Neil Gaiman's THE GRAVEYARD BOOK is a prime example of a brilliantly written children's book. Granted, as a children's book it's a simpler read, and in many ways not as beautifully complex as the anvil sized tomes we prefer. But some of the most brilliant and enjoyable things in the world are easy and simple (bashing on TWILIGHT for example is the easiest, simplest thing in the world--and yet both enjoyable, and a mark of intelligence).

In addition, while THE GRAVEYARD BOOK is a simple read, it is by no means simple.

THE GRAVEYARD BOOK is a brilliant twist on Rudyard Kipling's THE JUNGLE BOOK. It's a story about a boy who escapes the murder of his family as a toddler to be raised by a host of undead creatures--ghosts, vampires, ghouls and werewolves--in an ornate graveyard. Like Mowgli before him, Nobody Owens learns from his tutors, explores the world around him, and eventually must face the murderer of his family--Shere Khan for Mowgli, and the sinister man Jack for Bod Owens.

It shouldn't surprise anyone (least of all, us), that Gaiman's work shines here in melding the sense of an innocent fairy tale with depth, darkness, and meaning. We think the genius of THE GRAVEYARD BOOK lies in it's subtle and powerful examination of humanity. Oh, it's a children's book, yes. But even something so mundane as school takes on an unusual cast--it's part of life, part of living, and something Bod desperately wants. While Bod struggles to learn what it means to be alive, and to be human, the other-worldliness of the book is enjoyable as well, and we watch Bod learn the traits of the dead: instilling terror, projecting himself into other's nightmares, and fading completely out of view. While the story is enjoyable, and a fun read, it's this depth of meaning we love.

THE GRAVEYARD BOOK deserves it's two awards--the 2009 Newbery, the 2009 Locus award for the Young Adult Category--and is in the running for more: The 2009 Hugo (we voted for it), and the 2009 World Fantasy Award. Not even we are elitist enough to know the other award's it's surely been nominated for.

If the simplicity of a children's book is just too much a price for someone to pay for such a brilliant, masterful tale, then perhaps they just aren't as self-confident connoisseurs of creative storytelling as we are.

We know all you dear readers care as much about such things as we do.
Check out THE GRAVEYARD BOOK. Neil Gaiman's Now.

Recommended Age: We would have enjoyed this in the third grade--other readers? Perhaps 10 and up.
Language: None.
Violence: The violence causing Bod's situation may be something to be aware of for younger readers. Nothing gratuitous or graphic.
Sex: This book is ages 10 and up. Seriously? You're checking for this? Move on.

We'll be covering more of Gaiman's work, as he is one of our favorites. Visit his website at http://www.neilgaiman.com/ and then check out whether The Graveyard Book wins the Hugo this Sunday at http://www.thehugoawards.org/.

It is with irony that we, the superheroes of book reviews, feel betrayed by Jim Butcher's latest Dresden Files novel TURN COAT. We debated long over what we should say in regards to this novel, and more importantly, this series. How about a history lesson? No?

Too bad.

Back when Steve "used to be important" (sorry, inside joke) at the bookstore, one of his regular customers said he wouldn't read another recommendation until Steve read the Dresden Files series by Jim Butcher. There were only seven books out in the series at the time. Steve read them, and thought they were great fun. He, in turn, forced his superior attitudes on Nick and Rob. They concurred as to the overall awesomeness of Harry Dresden, the Wizard P.I. in Chicago (it just sounds awesome huh?). Books 8 and 9 were released, and we figured we had found the golden series. Book 10 came out, and though it felt like nothing but pure setup for the rest of the series, we forgave Butcher. After all, Butcher wouldn't betray us right? He wouldn't turn on us would he?

Then TURN COAT came out (See what we did there? Clever huh?)

So that you can understand our displeasure at the end of the novel, let us pose a question. Have you ever watched a TV show (*cough*smallville*cough*) or read a comic where after all hell breaks loose, and all the important people die (or everything seems to get better, even), the show/book hits the Magic Reset Button? Suddenly everything is back how it was at the beginning? All the character growth is negated?

Welcome to TURN COAT.

That isn't to say the book doesn't have redeeming qualities. We get to see some of the characters that we don't see much of, like Listens-To-The-Wind, for example who is a complete BAMF (We feel slimy referencing Dane Cook, but really there is no other way to describe this guy) in this book. Harry's werewolf buddies have some real development, as well as a slew of other characters that have long since needed some attention.

There are moral questions raised by multiple characters that would have been interesting had they been compounded with actual character development (See above for the magic reset button). Harry is shown to be a good guy, despite all of his darkness, by his actions in this book, but that is contradicted by Michael's plot-line in this, and the last, book.

The writing, as usual, is top notch. The plot is centered around the search to uncover a traitor among the Wizards Council (Well duh right? Could it be anything else with a name like TURN COAT?). The mystery style of the book is well done, as we have come to expect from Butcher, though we nailed who the traitor was from his/her first appearance.

The bottom line? We think that Butcher realized he was only 11 books into a 22 book serious and ran out of ideas for conflict so instead of writing it in, he is just going to rehash what has been done in the series already. There is an awful lot of setup for the obviously massive conflict coming, and for that we thank Butcher. We just wish he could have done that without deciding to ignore the development of the previous 10 books.

Here is what we recommend: books 1-9 are great, read them and enjoy them for the popcorn-novels they are. As for books 10 and 11, if you feel like reading novels that make you pissed off, borrow them from a friend or library. Otherwise, leave them be until we read the 12th book next year and tell you if we have forgiven Butcher.

Recommended Age: 15 and up
Language: Yep, there was some. Nick, in fact, swore a lot when he finished the novel.
Violence: Sure, we got violent when we threw the novel at the wall across the room.
Sex: We weren't in the mood after finishing. Our significant others were even more displeased at the effects of Butcher's novel than we were. Sad huh?


Look, Butcher is a good guy, and he has a great "How I got published" story. Hopefully TURN COAT was an aberration rather than the future of the series. Go visit his website and support him--he does deserve it for what he has done up until now--and will hopefully deserve it after Book 12 is released.

www.jim-butcher.com

Don't worry. Despite having the word Twilight in the title, THE TWILIGHT HERALD is nothing like the book in our last review. This is Tom Lloyd's second entry in his Twilight Reign series, and it is much grander is scope and larger in size than the opening book, THE STORMCALLER.

In a word (and you only need one from us): AWESOME.

Tom Lloyd is a newcomer, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have what it takes to blow us away with his story telling. He has managed to create a believable, original setting using the familiar fantasy tropes and bending or breaking them to his will. Populating his enormous, top-notch world is an exponentially growing list of characters, most of whom are distinct and interesting.

Isak, the main protagonist of the series, becomes a lot more interesting in this second book than he was in THE STORMCALLER--despite having less actual 'screen' time--but his friends and enemies once again steal the scene like they did in the first entry to the series. Lloyd's depictions of his characters allay all of our fears, and proves to us that he knows his characters inside and out; Lloyd has thought them through, and has gone to great lengths to make them believable and interesting. No easy feat considering the number of superhero-esque people walking The Land.

In THE TWILIGHT HERALD, the story focuses on the city of Scree, where the major players in this series are all drawn for one reason or another. We particularly liked the sheer number of points of view in THE TWILIGHT HERALD. We get a very real handle on the motivations and machinations of many of the characters. The only negative we could find for the book was that we felt inundated with the characters talking, talking, talking, and still talking. However, despite this the slow buildup of tension intrigued us every step of the way. The climax is explosive and leaves us breathless, waiting for THE GRAVE THIEF, the series' third book.

The moody, gloomy setting of this second book only heightens our excitement for the destruction and doom that is going to follow. This is writing done well. We don't need the author to tell us in footnotes or interviews that things are grim--his writing shows it and we feel it.

The battles are big, brutal, and beautiful (enough 'B' words for you?), the politics are fun to read and create a sense of depth greater than even those lauded colossal fantasy series (you know who they are), and the world feels very real (except for the lame name of the world 'The Land').

Go buy it.

Recommended Age: 15 and up.
Language: We can't remember anything particularly foul.
Violence: This book makes Quentin Tarantino look like an amateur. Not only is it gratuitous, but extremely well done. Thumbs way up on this part.
Sex: References to adultery, and promiscuity, but nothing that isn't on prime-time TV.


Nick's note: I was in my local B&N looking for something new and exciting, and being disappointed. Then I saw a lone copy of THE STORMCALLER. I picked it up on sheer production value alone. As I chatted a bit with Lou Anders, while I was reading THE STORMCALLER, about why he liked it, I realized Tom Lloyd was the real deal. THE STORMCALLER wasn't without a few minor shortcomings, but it showcased Tom Lloyd's talent and made me hungry for THE TWILIGHT HERALD. I wasn't disappointed when I started and finished Book 2. I got the same giddy feeling reading Book 2 that I got playing Final Fantasy Tactics back in the day. In fact, in a lot of ways it reminds me of that story. Tom Lloyd, for me, is on the verge of joining the ranks of my favorite authors.

Do us a favor and go by Tom's website, and give him your undying love for writing AWESOME fantasy novels. Guess who we are nominating for the Hugo Award next year?

http://www.tomlloyd.co.uk

And once again, go give Lou Anders and the folks at Pyr SF&F a big hug for publishing incredible novels here in the US.

http://www.pyrsf.com

What's this? Two reviews in one day? Well this one was a special request from some fans, and we were more than happy to oblige.

It's time we shared the hate...

There are few things in life that we don't understand. Why do people clip their finger and toe-nails in public? Why are Utah drivers incapable of using their turn signal? Why do people think Megan Fox can actually act? But mostly, we don't understand ONE MAJOR THING:

When ON EARTH did sparkles on a VAMPIRE become cool? We just each threw up a little. Steve more than a little actually. It was gross. It was like an emetic taste test here.

Don't get us wrong, we like vampires. E.E. Knight's VAMPIRE EARTH series rocks (for Nick especially), as well as the classic style of INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE by Anne Rice. Steve goes for the Brian Lumley variant, and the kind from the show Supernatural (a guilty pleasure). While we all give two-thumbs-up to the 30 Days of Night variety. Rob is of the same general opinion. See? We like vampires!

We just don't know WHAT happened during the writing of TWILIGHT. As Stephanie said in an interview on a talk-show (we want to say it was Ellen - she's funny, we are allowed to watch her talk-show with our significant others. Let it go.), she woke up one morning with a completely original story about a girl who--wait for it--FALLS IN LOVE WITH A VAMPIRE! We know! No one has EVER done any variant of that story before.

EVAAAH!!!

The writing is, as we gamers say, terribad. The romance is heavy-handed and repetitive, with the characters repeating the most mundane asinine dialogue possible. We understand they are teenagers, but is this really how they think? If so, the Mayan calendar predicting the end of the world in 2012 might not be so off-base...

Look, if you want to read romantic vampire stories, good for you. Go read Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse novels, or pick a book at random from the romance section of your local bookstore. Don't bother with this drivel called TWILIGHT. There are no REAL vampires in it. It is a hoax. The writing is awful. There is no real plot. Cereal boxes have better characters. Real vampires would point and laugh at the lauded Edward. Bella, the heroine, can only be enjoyed while on heroin...barely. Reading how she wants to cuddle with a guy who is cold as a corpse, just once, was enough to ignore her for the rest of the book. This was very difficult as her annoying little quips and selfish whining pop up ad nauseam.

Now, it is only fair that we say a few positives. First, if we had as much dinero as Stephanie Meyer, we would be happy campers. We might feel guilty like we had swindled the world, but we would be rich. Secondly, Meyer is getting people to read. We can't stress how important this is in this day and age. We may think, like Stephen King before us, that Meyer is untalented as a writer, but hey, the more people who read, the better books they can potentially get in to.

We realize our warnings have come late, but we only pray to the literary gods that it won't go unheeded for those who are thinking of reading it. If you cannot overcome your complusion and must purchase the book, go here.

Recommended Age: Resist the urge...EVERYONE is at a higher mental age than required by this novel. As are most animals. And rocks.
Language: Ugh. The terrible writing has clouded our brains and we cant remember.
Violence: If they were real vampires, we would have violence galore. But no: bait and switch.
Sex: Nope, and all the future sex-lives of all the Twilight fanatics are drying up with each subsequent read.

Head on over to Stephanie's site and offer her a little bit of your wisdom on teenagers and vampires, two subject she apparently needs to brush up on.

http://www.blogger.com/www.stepheniemeyer.com

Unlike Rome, the Empire of Vond was built in a day—well, nearly—as the Warlock Vond conquered countless smaller kingdoms, shocking the known world of Ethshar. Until he stopped suddenly and disappeared, that is. Emmis, a lone dockworker finds himself hired as the Empire’s Ambassador . . . suddenly caught in the political intrigue, mystery of Vond’s power, and schemes of vengeance that go with the job.

Lawrence Watt-Evans doesn’t get the notice and praise he deserves. Readers often know him from his recent ANNALS OF THE CHOSEN trilogy, though many readers don’t know him at all. If you are included in the latter category, we pity you. To understand the beauty of THE VONDISH AMBASSADOR, one first needs to understand the beauty of Watt-Evan’s Ethshar series, and his writing.

Ethshar could be Discworld’s younger, less goofy brother. The world contains about seven different magic systems, and currently encompasses fourteen books which can be read in nearly any order—making the series a gold mine of enjoyable experiences. The true beauty of the series, and Watt-Evans’ writing, is that the emphasis is all on the characters. Oh there’s an enjoyable setting, villains, magic, action, and romance enough for all you plebeian readers out there. But these characters are everyday people, without power, without control, and often without any grand goal but simply finding their purpose.

THE VONDISH AMBASSADOR and others in the Ethshar series may seem simple and dry for many readers. But the everyday nature of these stories transcend carbon copy epics, gross facsimiles of gritty fantasies, and the derivative drivel of the same old fantasy. It’s simple. Among all the overwrought layers of legends, and impossibly built up heroes, simple is refreshing and unique—and that’s what good fantasy is about.

Pick up THE VONDISH AMBASSADOR.

Recommended Age: 13 and up
Language: None—though there may be euphemistic expletives.
Violence: Present in small amounts, un-gratuitous and tame. This is primarily about
suspense, mystery, and tension.
Sex: None.

We Three Literary Kings have met Lawrence Watt-Evans, and affectionately refer to him as LWE…though he doesn’t know that…yet. LWE is extremely personable, and we think you should get to know him too. You can do so at:

http://www.watt-evans.com

Many of the Ethshar novels were written as weekly serials, paid for by weekly donations from his fans before being published. Learn more about Ethshar at:

http://www.ethshar.com

There is this guy named Brandon Sanderson, and if you read fantasy with any regularity, you know who he is. If you don't know who he is, you should really read more. Seriously. Not only is he the talent in epic fantasy, he is finishing the WHEEL OF TIME for the late Robert Jordan. Sanderson is a gifted author, and WARBREAKER, his newest novel, shows why.

Color (as in dyes, etc) is power. A person's breath let's them breathe life to inanimate objects. A talking sword that begs to kill things. Sound like an intriguing magic system? It should. Sanderson has made quite a name for himself by inventing unique and enjoyable magic systems. WARBREAKER essentially starts with the wrong, untrained daughter of a king being sent to another country to prevent a war from breaking. A great start to a great novel.

While we found ourselves engrossed in the world created in WARBREAKER, it's not to say it didn't have a few...shortcomings. We like our epic fantasy gritty and dark. We love action. We do like a little humor, but prefer it to have it's place with certain characters, and only in certain situations. If we want humor everywhere, we pick up a Terry Pratchett book or a Douglas Adams novel. In WARBREAKER, it seems like everyone is trying to be witty. We enjoy it with the character Lightsong. It has some funny moments with the mercs. But it seems like everyone wants to be the king/queen of the witty quip. It's not a bad thing, just not what we prefer. Also, it is in need of a sequel, which we won't be seeing any time soon, but look forward to.

WARBREAKER is more light-hearted than we typically enjoy, but it was still an excellent novel. This is a fantastic work that appeals to a huge audience. While we felt his MISTBORN series was superior (And that is what we are all about), WARBREAKER is, in our awesome opinions, a book you should have bought the week it was released, here.

Recommended Age: 13 and up
Language: If there was any, we don't remember it.
Violence: There is some, but this is more a novel about political intrigue. Though the sword is pretty awesomely violent.
Sex: Yes and no. Hard to describe it without having a spoiler. What little there is has been handled tastefully, and has purpose.



Not that he needs more publicity (wink), but head to his website.


http://brandonsanderson.com


Also, the crazy awesome Dan Dos Santos is the artist of the beautiful cover of WARBREAKER. Go give him some respect. He's earned it.


http://www.dandossantos.com

Read on for our completely incredible opinions on THE CITY AND THE CITY by China Miéville.

China Miéville is an author who doesn't settle for one genre. He has sampled many, many different genres, and somehow manages to give them each a unique creative style all their own. While many might argue what genre to lock Mr. Miéville in, we at Elitist Book Reviews think he is nearly as awesome as we are and doesn't need to be bound to a single style.

While THE CITY AND THE CITY is a fairly large departure from his previous works, Mieville blends the familiar and the unknown together to create a believable mystery. The protagonist, Tyador Borlú, loves his city and country of Beszel, and works there as a police inspector.

The story begins when Borlú becomes involved in the murder investigation of a postgraduate woman, whose body was dumped in Beszel. Throughout the murder investigation we become acquainted with the very special and peculiar relationship Beszel has with the city and country Ul Qoma.

These two very different countries occupy the same physical space. Even us of great intellect and ability for the abstract thought were just a bit boggled. As we read about Borlú's investigation we were continually exposed to words/terms like crosshatching, grosstopically, unseeing, and breaching.

The relationship between the two cities will hold your attention--much more so than the actual murder investigation--and may just frustrate readers as the bizarre relationship is never completely clear. However, we felt this lack of clarity makes the book even that much more fun and unconventional as we tried to figure out if there is some fantastical element to the division of the cities, or if it is simply laws and customs separating one city into two distinct entities.

The plot is intriguing enough to keep reading, but it is stretched thin and somewhat predictable in a number of places. Without the unique relationship of the cities, this would read as a very simple mystery book where the readers, especially if you are as awesome as we are, figure out the 'whodunnit' way before the characters do. With the addition of Beszel and Ul Qoma, THE CITY AND THE CITY becomes an extravagant tale of political intrigue and will spark your imagination in ways no other author has yet.

Miéville is one of our favorite authors, and is a favorite author among other authors. Perhaps we had our expectations a little bit too high as we approached THE CITY AND THE CITY but despite how enjoyable it was, the execution seemed somewhat lacking and the length was disappointing. However if you want an intelligent and brain-bending setting that will leave you thinking, here is a book for you.

In our opinion which should be, as we have said before, fact to you, THE CITY AND THE CITY was worth our money and is most likely worth yours, go pick it up here:
THE CITY AND THE CITY

Recommended Age: 18 and up
Language: Borlú and his teammates swear like professionals.
Violence: There is very little actual violence in the main segment of the book, consisting of largely a few gunshots, but being a murder mystery, implied violence is abound.
Sex: There is a slight bit of nudity described.


Special Note: Keep in mind that when you do read and love this book, this isn't quite like Miéville's other novels. Though we LOVE his other works, PERDIDO STREET STATION and THE SCAR, there is a possibility that you won't like how graphic or foreign they can be.

Welcome to another completely superior review by us guys here at Elitist Book Reviews. The chosen book this time around is THE BLADE ITSELF by Joe Abercrombie.

THE BLADE ITSELF is a refreshing first novel in what we would call a dark fantasy trilogy. Abercrombie gives us a cast of characters that that have even more attitude than we do--no easy feat. Included in this cast we have a crippled torturer as a main character. Tell us, how often do we get to see a torturer as a main PoV in epic fantasy now days? Awesome.

What you need to know about this book is that it is full of brutal straight-forward action. Not that there is anything wrong with highly stylized action, in other books, but it gets over-used. Abercrombie manages to lend some realism to the battles that make them refreshing (yes, that word again--deal with it), and completely enjoyable. If you are a fan of the likes of Martin, Erikson, or Lynch, THE BLADE ITSELF and its sequels, BEFORE THEY ARE HANGED and LAST ARGUMENT OF KINGS, should already be on your growing bookshelves.

Action-packed, dark, gritty, and not without an infusion of wit. This is THE BLADE ITSELF. In our opinion (which may as well be a fact as far as you are concerned), you should getting up from your comfy desk chair at this moment to rush to your local bookstore to buy this book. While you are there, pick up the follow-ups. Do it, do it. Or, go grab it online: THE BLADE ITSELF

Recommended Age: 17 and up
Language: Quite a bit. If this offends you, then you'll be, well, offended.
Violence: Did you read the review? A main character is A TORTURER. Of course there is TONS of violence.
Sex: There is some, but not a ton in this volume. There is more in the sequels. It isn't extremely graphic, but any inclusion might be a deal-breaker to some people. It is treated largely as a joke in the brief section it appears..

You links to buy the novels:
THE BLADE ITSELF
BEFORE THEY ARE HANGED
LAST ARGUMENT OF KINGS

Now, since this book is incredible, we feel it is important for you to go support its author, Joe Abercrombie. Go to his website, and give him a big high-five for writing great fantasy novels.

http://www.joeabercrombie.com

Also, some special effort went into bringing these novels to the USA from the UK (where they were originally published). Go thank the very professional, skilled, and over-all nice guy, Lou Anders over ay Pyr books.

http://www.pyrsf.com

Dan Wells has crafted something extraordinary with his first novel, I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER. Our opinions are obviously superior to the rest, so you should believe us without question.

John Wayne Cleaver is the protagonist of the book, and as you find out very early on, he isn't your average teenager. His troubles go much deeper than most, and are much more serious. You see, he worries that he might become a serial killer. He has all the tendencies of a sociopath, and he is very aware of how dangerous they are.

John is obsessed with serial killers (he even writes reports on them in school)--how could he not be considering his tendencies, and the fact that he is named John Wayne (though his mother swears she didn't name him after the serial killer John Wayne Gacy). John, a boy in High School who also works at his family mortuary, begins to notice a strange pattern in the murders that are taking place in his small town. His personal investigation of the murders puts him in a unique position to expose the killer, and also puts him in danger of losing himself to his inner sociopath.

One of the things we especially liked about I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER (and therefore you are required to like it too), was that it doesn't seem to follow the typical public's view of "horror." It seems like people are hell-bent on assuming that horror is synonymous with hack-and-slash and blood-and-gore. Guess what? That's garbage, and Dan proves it in this amazing novel--the first in a trilogy--that the old-school flavor of horror built on suspense and character development is the way horror should be written and enjoyed.

Dan's writing is clever, and extremely well done. There are moments where the novel seems YA, and others where is straight-up Horror/Supernatural Horror. We think it was this accessible blend that really made this book excellent, in our not-so-humble opinions.

When we read this novel, we somehow managed to feel pleasantly disturbed, amused, horrified, terrified, and awed. How often can one book evoke that range of emotions, and make you pleased about all of them? I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER does just that, and more.

Now, some people may mistakenly draw parallels to the Jeff Lindsay's character, Dexter. First of all, we know Dan, and he had this idea long before Dexter was even popular. Second, Dan handles the young sociopath infinitely better than Lindsay handles his young Dexter segments. Lastly, Dan's book shifts dramatically from normal Horror to a near-Supernatural Horror part way through the novel (and it succeeds where Lindsay's 3rd Dexter novel turned into complete crap). This book isn't like Dexter. It surpasses Dexter on every level.

Don't be afraid to pick up this novel. Indulge your “inner demon”, if you will. It is incredible, and the sequels that will come out over the next year are even better. This will be one of those novels that you will find impossible to put down, and when you’ve finished, you will want to recommend it to everyone you know.

Recommended Age: 13 and up (the sequels, just so you know, should probably be for 15 and up)
Language: None
Violence: Well, duh. It gets awesome and crazy at times. You did read the title of the book right?
Sex: None

It is our pseudo-professional opinion (in other words, do it now) that you should wander over to Dan's website and check it out.

www.fearfulsymmetry.net

Lastly, Dan is one of the founding members of the group that does the podcast WRITING EXCUSES. Along with Brandon Sanderson and Howard Tayler, WRITING EXCUSES is a podcast that talks about the ins-and-outs of the business, and advice on how to get it done.

http://www.writingexcuses.com/

This review was originally published on August 01, 2009, and was modified on March 8, 2010 to prepare for the US release.